No!!! this is not a blog on the mahanta of mothers... It is definitely not to impress the importance of mothers in a person's life... Coz, there are no words that can do justice to that... And there is not a single article that can cover all the points of the greatness of the beings called 'mothers'... This blog is about how inspite of living with this person for about 24 years of my life, I have not been able to foresee her reactions!!! This is about how 'Mothers' can surprise you with their actions - right when you feel that you know her and can predict her reactions.... Inspite of having being born from within them, inspite of knowing them all your life, despite confiding in them as a friend, philosopher and guide - they continue to amaze us... I know many mothers in my life (my friends mothers, aunts etc) but mine is the queerest of the lot :))))))) (Well most kids would have the same opinion, I believe)
So, Mrs. Shital Phulgirkar became a mother of this terror called Sharmili when she was just 22 years old... And from that point on, not only has she guided me thru the 24 years of my life but has been my greatest strength and my closest aide... When I was 22 I threw tantrums and was as immature as a school kid - but my mother, at that age, ensured that I was groomed well... She made me learn - taught me - helped me transform into a socially responsible, intelligent individual... During these years, I have also tried to understand her.... I have known her to be a mature, sensitive person who cries when someone dies in a movie.... I know her as a very reasonable person who is extremely adaptable to change... Thus I never had to worry about generation gap when it came to her... I know her as a person who respects the value of education and the value of her values... A person who knows when to give space and knows when it is necessary to encroach on it... And most importantly, one who always kept her family's well being above her.... Thus, knowing these characteristics about her should give me a fair idea of how she would react to a situation right... But sadly, it doesnt!!!Coz, this lady continues to amaze me with her responses...
I was in school and I wanted to join Karate classes... No reason why she shouldn't allow me right!! But she refused - reason - I might get hands on practise of Karate moves on my sisters... A valid concern - yes - but would I really do it? And even if I did (kids at that age are dumb) wont she successfully stop me??? But "NO" was all I got... During my tenth standard I was supposed to go for a 3 day camp with other girls.. Now, tenth standard is a crucial year so I had expected her to refuse directly... She asks me if she sees this as something that can affect my studies... Eager to go to the camp, I assured her that it wont... And she agreed.. Just like that... In college, I wanted to go to a movie with my friends after the exams... Not a big deal I thought - may be she would give me time constraints, type of movie constraints... But she refused... Whatever were her reasons then, but it was a very small thing and she surprised me by refusing... It was a reaction which I hadnt expected... After about 4 years, around the same time, my sister who was in tenth standard (still in school) asked her permission for going to a movie with friends and she agreed... I guess on some level she opened up to this concept - realised that she was being unreasonable or a tad bit overprotective (and thank God for that)... A trip to Goa was planned... 5 days!!! 20 people which included only 6 girls... I was sure that my mother, who did not allow me to go to a movie with guys, would never concede to me going to Goa... But guess what, she was one of the first mothers to agree to send me there :))))))
I am now a professional... I am independent and she respects that... But she still is an integral part of my decision making process.... So, I wanted to taste Breezer (translated to Alchohol for her inspite of chintu percentage of alchohol in it) on the eve of International Women's day!!! There was a Pajama Party in my house and I just wanted to be a good hostess by giving my guests company... Of course, before asking her I had told my friends that I would not be drinking (anticipation of her reaction)... You cannot possibly go and ask your mother - "Mom, we have a pajama party and I want to indulge in drunken revelry (which would be her interpretation)..." But I still dared... I mean when you expect a NO already, it becomes easier to handle responses... Atleast I would have been happy about the fact that I tried... So, I dailed the number and asked her - only to be stunned for whole 2 minutes... She agreed... She said, "so long as you know your limits - I do not have any issues..." HOW COOL IS MY MOM :)))))))))) Of course, I did not get drunk that day - just tasted a lil of breezer and then slept off... But the fact that she agreed makes me respect her immensely....
And a final thing that made me write this entire blog... That incident would require some background knowledge... My mom never allows either of her daughters to travel alone.. She gets paranoid... becomes a worry-wart till the person reaches the destination or back home... So, I was 90% sure that she would disagree and reject the proposal of me going to Singapore alone to meet my friend... Undeterred, I did not try a round about approach but a direct question "Should I go?"... And by now you guys must have guessed what she said... She said "Of course, you can... If you think you can handle being in a foreign country and get all the formalities done before the time you can go?" this was like an icing on the cake... A person who dint allow me to go to Shimla alone, allowed me to go to Singapore... Of course the trip is still in the offing but its a great feeling that my mother actually took a decision that agrees with me :)))))))))
So, I present people - my mother... Who sometimes acts as if she is from the 22nd century and is all liberal... And sometimes as if she is from the 14th century and is parochial in everything she does... But, inspite of all this I adore her (everyone adores their mothers)... I love her immensely and I do not see anyone who can meaure up to her persona... If I am even one tenth of what she is; my daughter/son would turn to me as I turn to her and be as proud of me as I am of her...
It takes one mother to know how any other mother would function and decide... As a daughter, I have a tried to understand her and predict her actions... I am not 100% successful but may be someday in future, I would do that successfully (after I become a mother myself)!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Monday, April 02, 2007
Alchemist versus Murphy
"Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time..." Sounds familiar? Righly guessed - our very own Murphy's law... I am certain that most of us have been victims of the validity of this law... For instance, how many of us badly want to reach on time and got stuck in a traffic jam or fell ill when we had an important interview, a fully planned outing or a party to attend... Leads me to believe that most of us have experienced the regularity of this irregular law... And for strangest reasons this law always gets applicable to me... My plans are always minute by minute when I have to meet my friends - meaning there is no concept of buffer time to allow inexplicable delays... Those timelines would work 99.9% of the times (which speaks of the efficient time management) but say I want to really be on time for this party thingy and this party would inevitably fall in that 0.1% zone making it impossible for me to reach there on time... And then people accuse me of being tardy... What they dont get is that it's Murphy conspiring against me... :)))))))
Reading is one of my hobbies like that of zillion others... I like Fantasy fiction in particular but I am open to reading any book, if someone recommends it... So, while reading this one highly recommended book I came across this sentence - "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it..." When Paulo Coelho took us through the journey of Santiago in The Alchemist most of the people just believed him... A story wrought with fortune tellers, dreams, travel and hardwork the story does seem believable... But what I liked the most about this book is the strong message it sends - dare to dream...
But reading this line just made my life more confusing... I managed to find ample examples of Murphy's law and its relevance in my life but I just couldn't get anything for The Alchemist Law... Could it happen that 2 laws with universal applicability are just not applicable to me... These seemingly contradictory laws that govern the universe but not my life... So, here I was; trying to find out how to relate these laws to my life :-
One which said - if there was one way to go wrong, you will go that way
One which said - if you are on a way, whole universe will conspire to lead you the right goal...
I am neither bold enough to question the validity of these laws nor am I foolish to ignore them... In an effort to find a resolution, I stumbled on this line in wikipedia about Murphy's laws and I realised where I was going wrong... It said that interpretation of Murphy's laws depends on one's outlook and attitude... One interpretation is sour and the other is an affirmation of the predictable being able to be surmounted, usually by sufficient planning and redundancy... This same rule applies to other laws as well...
Then was it that my interpretation was incorrect of these laws??? Was it because of my outlook that I got confused??? I mean my pessimism clouded my life so much that I refused to see the brighter side of Mr. Murphy... When all the time I blamed him for making laws that govern everything that went wrong in my life, I failed to see the learning... The learning to make sure that the things that went wrong once; could be avoided the next time... And working on these lines, I would have eventually reached a stage that would have led whole universe to conspire to give what I wanted outta life...
Thus, every law just fit perfectly... What I kept thinking were contradictory laws actually complemented each other, enmeshed deeply within the power of interpretation.... And this interpretation was the very basis of every law that came into existence... Newton interpreted the "Apple falling on his head" and made a Law of gravity... Einstein wanted to interpret behaviour of particles at speed of light and formulated Law of Relativity etc...
So, having interpreted this, will my life become easier hereon??? Will I finally reach the stage where the only law applicable to me is that of The Alchemist's??? I do not know but I am atleast happy that I figured something constuctive instead of plainly cursing Murphy all the time when things went wrong...
Reading is one of my hobbies like that of zillion others... I like Fantasy fiction in particular but I am open to reading any book, if someone recommends it... So, while reading this one highly recommended book I came across this sentence - "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it..." When Paulo Coelho took us through the journey of Santiago in The Alchemist most of the people just believed him... A story wrought with fortune tellers, dreams, travel and hardwork the story does seem believable... But what I liked the most about this book is the strong message it sends - dare to dream...
But reading this line just made my life more confusing... I managed to find ample examples of Murphy's law and its relevance in my life but I just couldn't get anything for The Alchemist Law... Could it happen that 2 laws with universal applicability are just not applicable to me... These seemingly contradictory laws that govern the universe but not my life... So, here I was; trying to find out how to relate these laws to my life :-
One which said - if there was one way to go wrong, you will go that way
One which said - if you are on a way, whole universe will conspire to lead you the right goal...
I am neither bold enough to question the validity of these laws nor am I foolish to ignore them... In an effort to find a resolution, I stumbled on this line in wikipedia about Murphy's laws and I realised where I was going wrong... It said that interpretation of Murphy's laws depends on one's outlook and attitude... One interpretation is sour and the other is an affirmation of the predictable being able to be surmounted, usually by sufficient planning and redundancy... This same rule applies to other laws as well...
Then was it that my interpretation was incorrect of these laws??? Was it because of my outlook that I got confused??? I mean my pessimism clouded my life so much that I refused to see the brighter side of Mr. Murphy... When all the time I blamed him for making laws that govern everything that went wrong in my life, I failed to see the learning... The learning to make sure that the things that went wrong once; could be avoided the next time... And working on these lines, I would have eventually reached a stage that would have led whole universe to conspire to give what I wanted outta life...
Thus, every law just fit perfectly... What I kept thinking were contradictory laws actually complemented each other, enmeshed deeply within the power of interpretation.... And this interpretation was the very basis of every law that came into existence... Newton interpreted the "Apple falling on his head" and made a Law of gravity... Einstein wanted to interpret behaviour of particles at speed of light and formulated Law of Relativity etc...
So, having interpreted this, will my life become easier hereon??? Will I finally reach the stage where the only law applicable to me is that of The Alchemist's??? I do not know but I am atleast happy that I figured something constuctive instead of plainly cursing Murphy all the time when things went wrong...
Friday, March 23, 2007
Wondering -
There is a constant fight that always goes on between logic and emotions, between reason and religion, between the heart and the brain and plethora other yin-yang forces... Yin - the bright optimistic subjective side and yang - the factual, cold and pessimistic side... What I am wondering is when do I know which force am I supposed to listen to? And even if I do decide on one force, how do I know it is correct?
Logic tells me that India's chances of winning the world cup are slim but faith (or rather blind faith) makes me watch each match with enthusiasm... On the other hand, my heart tells me to take a bike and go to Goa but brain tells me that the idea is not only weird but also not viable....
If there is something I desperately want or someone I desperately want to be with and the odds are not in favour of that taking place, what will I do? Will I still hold on to the thing/person based on only subjective parameters which I want to believe in (and want them to be true under any circumstances) or should I just take statistics into account and forget all about it? One- is this easy and Two - is this correct?
Thus, comes a conundrum which I am faced with time and again. When do I listen to something that cannot be substantiated and lacks substance and when do I go to facts and let them have the final word??? And what happens if I listen to the one I am not supposed to and end up making a huge mistake or just raising my hopes in vain which would then lead to a crash....
At this point in time, I am unsure of my very purpose in life, my future and my goals... I am confused as to what and where I would be like in 5 years down the line.... This uncertainty makes me want to predict my future - something that I believe is basic human nature.... But I have had so many predictions by now that I am as lost as I was at the start of the exercise...
Therefore all I can say is, I have finally succumbed to the inevitable forces of fate and destiny....
A sane person with a perfectly logical POV and rationality has just decided to leave some of my very critical decisions to abstract parameters... to fate, God, destiny etc when I have the power to shape up my own... Am I imbeccile then??? But all I know at this point in my life is that, no facts and rationales can later on answer or explain the vagaries these uncontrollable factors enforce on your life...
Is this the right thing to do - I do not know - I am still wondering!!!
Logic tells me that India's chances of winning the world cup are slim but faith (or rather blind faith) makes me watch each match with enthusiasm... On the other hand, my heart tells me to take a bike and go to Goa but brain tells me that the idea is not only weird but also not viable....
If there is something I desperately want or someone I desperately want to be with and the odds are not in favour of that taking place, what will I do? Will I still hold on to the thing/person based on only subjective parameters which I want to believe in (and want them to be true under any circumstances) or should I just take statistics into account and forget all about it? One- is this easy and Two - is this correct?
Thus, comes a conundrum which I am faced with time and again. When do I listen to something that cannot be substantiated and lacks substance and when do I go to facts and let them have the final word??? And what happens if I listen to the one I am not supposed to and end up making a huge mistake or just raising my hopes in vain which would then lead to a crash....
At this point in time, I am unsure of my very purpose in life, my future and my goals... I am confused as to what and where I would be like in 5 years down the line.... This uncertainty makes me want to predict my future - something that I believe is basic human nature.... But I have had so many predictions by now that I am as lost as I was at the start of the exercise...
Therefore all I can say is, I have finally succumbed to the inevitable forces of fate and destiny....
A sane person with a perfectly logical POV and rationality has just decided to leave some of my very critical decisions to abstract parameters... to fate, God, destiny etc when I have the power to shape up my own... Am I imbeccile then??? But all I know at this point in my life is that, no facts and rationales can later on answer or explain the vagaries these uncontrollable factors enforce on your life...
Is this the right thing to do - I do not know - I am still wondering!!!
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Its simple to be happy but difficult to be simple
I heard Rajesh Khanna say this sentence in Bawarchi, "Its simple to be happy but difficult to be simple" and my brain got food for thought! Why is it difficult to be simple? Is it because we lack the basic definition of 'Being Simple'? This is how my definitions for 'Being Simple' varied over the period of time.
Definition 1: Simple is someone who isnt extravagant. Someone who lives a life within his reach. Someone who isn't brand conscious and does not indulge in frivolity.
This led me to believe that being simple is being someone who has a decent income, is usually wise with money and would not spend 2000 bucks on shoes or 15000 for dinner at Taj. I fit the bill when I was in college. I was all the above and more. I was also socially responsible (meaning I gave back to society whenever I got a chance), I would spend time with friends and family (mostly indoors or once in a while a Shiv Sagar restaurant for special occassions) and was a part of the missed call giving people (so not too high mobile bills). Was it because I was a student with lack of funds and did not want to burden my father with unnecessary demands or was I really simple?
But then I joined the IT industry and I became the part of the yuppy 'gen next' people with cash on hands. I gifted my sister with a cell, my mother with gold set and a microwave, my father with the music system (branded) for our car, went to concerts, got my hair straightened at a branded parlour(which is a very expensive thing to be done) and I have lost the count of how many parties I have been to. Does that mean I am no longer simple? On the same lines we can then say that - a person who earns say 50 bucks in a day and spends 25 bucks on desi daru would be more simple than say a person who earns 15000 a month and spends 250 on a glass of champagne. Can we really equate monetary strength and standard of living with simplicity? Am I not the same person around 3 years ago? If I am (which I am certain of) then why do people around me feel that I am no longer simple. Stumps me and so it makes me want to change the definition of being simple - just the way scientists would do - one theory failed so develop a new one which supports the existing phenomenon.
Definition 2:Simple is someone who is not complicated. Someone who does things in a simple way, someone who has a simple funda in life - I speak my mind and I am clear about issues in my life.
Fairly direct I would say. Thus, a simple person then would mean who is honest and forthright, someone who leads the life their way(irrespective of standard of living), Thus, I could wear expensive Nike shoes and yet be simple. I can tell what things upset me and what dont. What issues I can handle and what I cannot. I can decide how much I spend and how much I can indulge. I dont have to worry about hajar parameters that could affect my living. Thus, an uncomplicated life - and so I am simple. And this definition makes yours truly simple with or without money. But this also makes all business men not simple - they have to worry about profits, markets, prices, reforms etc - and this I agreed to. This made politicians and people in media not simple which was my idea too. But, this definition made Mother Teressa not simple - since she had to keep worrying about many issues in life and did many very complicated things which a normal person could not do. This was something that made me want to change this definition. Mother Teressa is simplicity incarnate. So, if a definition doesn't include her as simple ought to be changed.
Definition 3: Its your ideas, your purpose in life and your character that you have make you simple. And it is possible that you alter your character and still remain simple.
Hmmm... This one looks fine... Business men are simple because they have a simple purpose - profit and so long as they are not criminals. Mother Teressa is because she wanted social reform and went to any length to bring about betterment if her people. I am simple because I want to live my life according to my means, have fun alongwith being responsible and stick to my core set of values. This definition kinda includes everyone doesnt it. And yes it is difficult now to be simple because
- not everyone can pass every test their character is put up against
- not everyone can be focussed on the purpose of their life all the time
- and not everyone always have clear ideas in every situation because life has this uncanny knack of confronting you with most unexpected ones
Definition 1: Simple is someone who isnt extravagant. Someone who lives a life within his reach. Someone who isn't brand conscious and does not indulge in frivolity.
This led me to believe that being simple is being someone who has a decent income, is usually wise with money and would not spend 2000 bucks on shoes or 15000 for dinner at Taj. I fit the bill when I was in college. I was all the above and more. I was also socially responsible (meaning I gave back to society whenever I got a chance), I would spend time with friends and family (mostly indoors or once in a while a Shiv Sagar restaurant for special occassions) and was a part of the missed call giving people (so not too high mobile bills). Was it because I was a student with lack of funds and did not want to burden my father with unnecessary demands or was I really simple?
But then I joined the IT industry and I became the part of the yuppy 'gen next' people with cash on hands. I gifted my sister with a cell, my mother with gold set and a microwave, my father with the music system (branded) for our car, went to concerts, got my hair straightened at a branded parlour(which is a very expensive thing to be done) and I have lost the count of how many parties I have been to. Does that mean I am no longer simple? On the same lines we can then say that - a person who earns say 50 bucks in a day and spends 25 bucks on desi daru would be more simple than say a person who earns 15000 a month and spends 250 on a glass of champagne. Can we really equate monetary strength and standard of living with simplicity? Am I not the same person around 3 years ago? If I am (which I am certain of) then why do people around me feel that I am no longer simple. Stumps me and so it makes me want to change the definition of being simple - just the way scientists would do - one theory failed so develop a new one which supports the existing phenomenon.
Definition 2:Simple is someone who is not complicated. Someone who does things in a simple way, someone who has a simple funda in life - I speak my mind and I am clear about issues in my life.
Fairly direct I would say. Thus, a simple person then would mean who is honest and forthright, someone who leads the life their way(irrespective of standard of living), Thus, I could wear expensive Nike shoes and yet be simple. I can tell what things upset me and what dont. What issues I can handle and what I cannot. I can decide how much I spend and how much I can indulge. I dont have to worry about hajar parameters that could affect my living. Thus, an uncomplicated life - and so I am simple. And this definition makes yours truly simple with or without money. But this also makes all business men not simple - they have to worry about profits, markets, prices, reforms etc - and this I agreed to. This made politicians and people in media not simple which was my idea too. But, this definition made Mother Teressa not simple - since she had to keep worrying about many issues in life and did many very complicated things which a normal person could not do. This was something that made me want to change this definition. Mother Teressa is simplicity incarnate. So, if a definition doesn't include her as simple ought to be changed.
Definition 3: Its your ideas, your purpose in life and your character that you have make you simple. And it is possible that you alter your character and still remain simple.
Hmmm... This one looks fine... Business men are simple because they have a simple purpose - profit and so long as they are not criminals. Mother Teressa is because she wanted social reform and went to any length to bring about betterment if her people. I am simple because I want to live my life according to my means, have fun alongwith being responsible and stick to my core set of values. This definition kinda includes everyone doesnt it. And yes it is difficult now to be simple because
- not everyone can pass every test their character is put up against
- not everyone can be focussed on the purpose of their life all the time
- and not everyone always have clear ideas in every situation because life has this uncanny knack of confronting you with most unexpected ones
Thursday, March 08, 2007
And the Argument Continues....
International Women's Day - 8th March.... We gals decided to spend this day by indulging ourselves... We dressed up in our best, were going to go out in the evening and booze and watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S all night long... So, with this entire plan fixed from around 3 days ago; we came to office on 8th March - all excited.... Huged each other, wished each other and complimented on how we were looking all stunning :)... Later in the day, an inconsequential action of a fella forwarding a mail about the importance of Women's day to the guys of the group, started a war of words.... The battle of sexes.... Mails were exchanged and power of words was used to kill... An excerpt from the argument:-
The forward (Deepti) said something like God is definitely a man coz he does some things (like not listening, he has a final word etc) which a man does and women are angels coz they care and make world a better place to live in... So, happy women's day to all God's angels...
reply 1 (Kartik) : Lol… We are so the image of God…I’m God.. God is great :)
And btw.. I fail to understand this women’s day concept.. Do the women want to be noticed only today???? Are all the other days man days?? Calvin fans … Today is a good day to exercise G.R.O.S.S (which incidentally means Get Rid Of Slimy girlS)
reply 2 (Stella) : U guys are so pathetic…..so bad tht u do not hv a day decicated to men….how come no day dedicated for the MEN????......ill tell u y….cause ur not worth it…… :)
N just for the record... u r not GOD…neither are u created in God’s image…DEVILS!!!....n created in devil’s image n likeliness……
reply 3 (Siddharth) : GOD or DEVILS…still v r revered…
reply 4 (Kartik) :
Every dog has its day...
But MEN don’t have a day dedicated to them…
But today is Women’s day..
So women have a day dedicated to them
Hence proved that ………………… :)))))))
reply 5 (Sharmili - was not active since was not at my desk... Pounced on the opportunity to argue) : International Men’s day is February 23rd…. the logic given by Kartik is more befitting for this day since the genders match too :) Also, its pitiful… These ignorant souls do not know they have a day for themselves…
Being commonplace comes with a heavy price – IGNORANCE!!!!!
About the God thing!! I dunno what gender s/he is!!!
But what I do know is that First god created man and then he got a BETTER idea :))))
From Wikipidea, the day is copied from women and is not even international like ours is :)))))
reply 6 (Kartik) :
Deepti: God is a male.
Sharmili: “About the God thing!! I dunno what gender s/he is!!!”
The above 2 statements just proves that females cant agree on nething… I wont be surprised if Stella comes up with any other logic…Ohh…God definetly didn’t do a good job the second time… I think God also suffers from beginner’s luck ( ref: The Alchemist)… the second time the enthu just wasn’t there….
reply 7 (Stella) :U didn’t celebrate casue u didn’t know it…..Seriously miserable souls…ur just existing…not lliving ur life…. Look at us… being a woman …v r so proud of it….tht we want to celebrate it n let ppl know……
U know the saying na……Man was a draft…woman was the final masterpiece…..Wish god had destroyed the draft after the masterpiece…..
No jhol…no tension…..n it wud have been a real blessing
reply 8 (Sharmili) :
Please let us agree to one Universal Truth - Men exist coz of Women...
So if we are what Kartik is trying to prove we are – then guys just follow the suit :)))))
I like what was said in Jurassic park –
God made Man,
Man made dinosaurs…
Dinosaurs killed Man
And woman rule the world :))))
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Of course this reply wasnt left unanswered... The darker sex had something to say which resulted in more mud slinging....
As always, this small argument made me think and blog it.... I wondered to myself what makes the guys indulge in this mud slinging?? How can they ignore the fact that they have always seen their mothers do so many things which their fathers dont do... I love my father and he has ensured us security through all turbulent times... He has a pivotal role to play in what I am today and where I am today.... But when its 2 am in the morning and my stomach starts hurting or I cant sleep, the person I think of is my mother... Is higher EQ (which mothers/women are supposed to have) the only reason for that?? I dont think so... Its just what my mother symbolises... Hajar patience and hajar caring attitude... I am sure all guys have gone to their mothers time and again... If not mothers then its a wife... Thus, despite this knowledge how do men still undermine the position of women in society? Is this society called a male dominated society for any reason other than their higher numbers? A man learns alone but a woman educates the family is an axiom now for betterment of families... Then why are states still grappling with female foeticide, dowry deaths (though I believe they have reduced), low sex ratio, bad treatment of the girl child??? Just celebrating Women's Day internationally is really not making anyone aware of the importance of women... It has become a day for having some activities for the elite strata of the society... A get together similar to one we girls are indulging in... Of course not to add the guy bashing we all resorted to... And if the significance of this day gets restricted to this, I have to say that the battle between sexes will only continue....
The forward (Deepti) said something like God is definitely a man coz he does some things (like not listening, he has a final word etc) which a man does and women are angels coz they care and make world a better place to live in... So, happy women's day to all God's angels...
reply 1 (Kartik) : Lol… We are so the image of God…I’m God.. God is great :)
And btw.. I fail to understand this women’s day concept.. Do the women want to be noticed only today???? Are all the other days man days?? Calvin fans … Today is a good day to exercise G.R.O.S.S (which incidentally means Get Rid Of Slimy girlS)
reply 2 (Stella) : U guys are so pathetic…..so bad tht u do not hv a day decicated to men….how come no day dedicated for the MEN????......ill tell u y….cause ur not worth it…… :)
N just for the record... u r not GOD…neither are u created in God’s image…DEVILS!!!....n created in devil’s image n likeliness……
reply 3 (Siddharth) : GOD or DEVILS…still v r revered…
reply 4 (Kartik) :
Every dog has its day...
But MEN don’t have a day dedicated to them…
But today is Women’s day..
So women have a day dedicated to them
Hence proved that ………………… :)))))))
reply 5 (Sharmili - was not active since was not at my desk... Pounced on the opportunity to argue) : International Men’s day is February 23rd…. the logic given by Kartik is more befitting for this day since the genders match too :) Also, its pitiful… These ignorant souls do not know they have a day for themselves…
Being commonplace comes with a heavy price – IGNORANCE!!!!!
About the God thing!! I dunno what gender s/he is!!!
But what I do know is that First god created man and then he got a BETTER idea :))))
From Wikipidea, the day is copied from women and is not even international like ours is :)))))
reply 6 (Kartik) :
Deepti: God is a male.
Sharmili: “About the God thing!! I dunno what gender s/he is!!!”
The above 2 statements just proves that females cant agree on nething… I wont be surprised if Stella comes up with any other logic…Ohh…God definetly didn’t do a good job the second time… I think God also suffers from beginner’s luck ( ref: The Alchemist)… the second time the enthu just wasn’t there….
reply 7 (Stella) :U didn’t celebrate casue u didn’t know it…..Seriously miserable souls…ur just existing…not lliving ur life…. Look at us… being a woman …v r so proud of it….tht we want to celebrate it n let ppl know……
U know the saying na……Man was a draft…woman was the final masterpiece…..Wish god had destroyed the draft after the masterpiece…..
No jhol…no tension…..n it wud have been a real blessing
reply 8 (Sharmili) :
Please let us agree to one Universal Truth - Men exist coz of Women...
So if we are what Kartik is trying to prove we are – then guys just follow the suit :)))))
I like what was said in Jurassic park –
God made Man,
Man made dinosaurs…
Dinosaurs killed Man
And woman rule the world :))))
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Of course this reply wasnt left unanswered... The darker sex had something to say which resulted in more mud slinging....
As always, this small argument made me think and blog it.... I wondered to myself what makes the guys indulge in this mud slinging?? How can they ignore the fact that they have always seen their mothers do so many things which their fathers dont do... I love my father and he has ensured us security through all turbulent times... He has a pivotal role to play in what I am today and where I am today.... But when its 2 am in the morning and my stomach starts hurting or I cant sleep, the person I think of is my mother... Is higher EQ (which mothers/women are supposed to have) the only reason for that?? I dont think so... Its just what my mother symbolises... Hajar patience and hajar caring attitude... I am sure all guys have gone to their mothers time and again... If not mothers then its a wife... Thus, despite this knowledge how do men still undermine the position of women in society? Is this society called a male dominated society for any reason other than their higher numbers? A man learns alone but a woman educates the family is an axiom now for betterment of families... Then why are states still grappling with female foeticide, dowry deaths (though I believe they have reduced), low sex ratio, bad treatment of the girl child??? Just celebrating Women's Day internationally is really not making anyone aware of the importance of women... It has become a day for having some activities for the elite strata of the society... A get together similar to one we girls are indulging in... Of course not to add the guy bashing we all resorted to... And if the significance of this day gets restricted to this, I have to say that the battle between sexes will only continue....
Monday, March 05, 2007
Rang Barse!!!!
This Holi I experienced how this festival of colors not only makes you colorful (coz of the layers of colours on u) but also ur life... it gives you a perspective... This is a narrative of a day which gave me a positive outlook towards life and exposed the wild side of seemingly normal and civilised people :))))
Every holi (I can recollect) I have played with my school friends. And every holi with them - had no plans, no organisation and no coordination. That's the deal with my school friends.... They are the most unorganised group I am in but also those with whom I have max fun. Probably being with them during my formative years; is how I get my funda of 'On the Spot' fun :))) Never doubting that planning makes it much easier to have fun but I still like this element of uncertainty and spontaneity. Although, I wont deny that this very behaviour has also gotten to me a couple of times. Anyway, after having a horrible week and an even more terrible interview, I wasnt really looking forward to Holi!!! I mean how much of a difference can a couple of colors and some water make (yes! i was at my pessimism best).
Due to the lunar eclipse the previous day, I had to have a bath the first thing in the morning (some mythological thing my mother believes in)...
So, the scene is - its Sunday, I am tentatively going to play holi (tentatively coz I dint get thru Gaurang's number and I had no clue what the plan was) (Also playing holi wud necessitate having a bath again) and I am getting up early and having a bath... It shouldnt be a big deal I know, but all who know me would understand my harrowing experience ;) Laters, all chintu-pintu of the building, dressed up in their worst, went to play holi... fearing that I would mother them and spoil their fun I refused to go down to play with them... Then a group of Auntys came and pulled me outta house... And here I was drenched and pink + blue + black on me... And then just like that school gang made an appearance!!!
they were sporting yellow, red and all possible colors... after ensuring that we all look like the band of brothers (and sisters) we set to wish everyone's parents.... walking with them was fun, just catching up on lost time (we rarely talk to each other so often...) we went to Tejal deeds house, then to Girish's house and followed by Manoj's house in the same bldg... As usual, girish - the socialite had hajar places to go and hence we were supposed to watch time - which again we never do... Sheetal didi was without Vishal Jiju - so she was at her nuttiest best... she starts tearing Sunil's shirt for some reason (which she later explained as trying to find places to put colors)... Naturally we joined her (we rarely get to do that :)..) then came Mithun's shirt and Girish too (whose tee was very strong and we cudnt tear - this madu actually pays well for his clothes :)...) Not satisfied with this, she went organic... There was mango shake that Girish's mom served which was thrown all over us... Thandai served met the same fate.... Tired of Sheetal Didi's wild wild behaviour we decided to give her a taste of her own medicine... Me and Shivangi dragged her (later Girish carried her) to a place full of muck and she with her branded capris (which she kept cribbing abt later) were completely immersed... No wonder they say revenge is sweet :)))) A quickie to Gaurang's place where finally mud was removed and we looked more civilised than nomads :))))
After this the only this that came to my mind - Can married women have wilder fun only in absence of their counterparts? The sheer difference in the way Tejal deeeds and Sheetal deeeds played Holi made this so apparent.. Would I too do the same? Is it society that expects you to do it or is it the fact that u conciously remind urself that u r mature and responsible? Well men still seem to have wild fun after marriage too...
The school group dispersed and I went to a rain dance party with my junior college group... Music (loud and fast - my kind), water flowing and I suddenly felt light, relieved... Felt that the weight of the world does not reside on my shoulders... Dunno if it was the people or the place... went to priya's place later to wish her mom n sister (a ritual I do every year).... Finally when i came home it was arnd 3 pm and food was waiting for me... I was so famishd that i had lunch without cleaning off the colors, mango shake, thandai, muck (remains only) from myself (Yuck!! is the only response I got from anyone who knew this) Thus, effectively HOLI which reluctantly started at 10:00 am, finished only at 5:00 pm (after a bath which took one hour)... So, much for not wanting to play holi :)))))))
What actually made the difference? Was it meeting so many people (going thru the same trials and tribulations), just talking to them? Holi colors? Music which always acts as a healer? Or was it just a break from the monotony that my life has been sujected to? Was it that for once I was carefree, forgot all that could go wrong and just had wild fun, plain no strings attached fun???
Evening too we had some games in the building where I made aunties run (some game we kids and all moms played) and we played antakshari between the 2 generations (which was not concluded... they had a huge repository of old songs and we had old (thanks to remixes) and new ones) I realised towards the fag end of the day, I was more responsive, more responsible and started a fresh evening with an even more fresh outlook... tried to sort out my issues, treated myself to good music and sitcoms and helped my sister with her studies... Its been 4 days and the effect still hasnt worn off.... Somewhere the pessimist in me has gone under the layers... Will it surface again? I know that it will... Will I tackle it again - I know I will - but may be it wont be holi this time....
Bottomline - Changes are necessary... Either in form of doing something different or interacting with someone different... Just the thought that others go through the shit that you are going through makes you face ur fears and inhibitions boldly... On the other hand being in a monotonous life just brings negative energies on the table - whoever u interact with and whenever u do it....
Every holi (I can recollect) I have played with my school friends. And every holi with them - had no plans, no organisation and no coordination. That's the deal with my school friends.... They are the most unorganised group I am in but also those with whom I have max fun. Probably being with them during my formative years; is how I get my funda of 'On the Spot' fun :))) Never doubting that planning makes it much easier to have fun but I still like this element of uncertainty and spontaneity. Although, I wont deny that this very behaviour has also gotten to me a couple of times. Anyway, after having a horrible week and an even more terrible interview, I wasnt really looking forward to Holi!!! I mean how much of a difference can a couple of colors and some water make (yes! i was at my pessimism best).
Due to the lunar eclipse the previous day, I had to have a bath the first thing in the morning (some mythological thing my mother believes in)...
So, the scene is - its Sunday, I am tentatively going to play holi (tentatively coz I dint get thru Gaurang's number and I had no clue what the plan was) (Also playing holi wud necessitate having a bath again) and I am getting up early and having a bath... It shouldnt be a big deal I know, but all who know me would understand my harrowing experience ;) Laters, all chintu-pintu of the building, dressed up in their worst, went to play holi... fearing that I would mother them and spoil their fun I refused to go down to play with them... Then a group of Auntys came and pulled me outta house... And here I was drenched and pink + blue + black on me... And then just like that school gang made an appearance!!!
they were sporting yellow, red and all possible colors... after ensuring that we all look like the band of brothers (and sisters) we set to wish everyone's parents.... walking with them was fun, just catching up on lost time (we rarely talk to each other so often...) we went to Tejal deeds house, then to Girish's house and followed by Manoj's house in the same bldg... As usual, girish - the socialite had hajar places to go and hence we were supposed to watch time - which again we never do... Sheetal didi was without Vishal Jiju - so she was at her nuttiest best... she starts tearing Sunil's shirt for some reason (which she later explained as trying to find places to put colors)... Naturally we joined her (we rarely get to do that :)..) then came Mithun's shirt and Girish too (whose tee was very strong and we cudnt tear - this madu actually pays well for his clothes :)...) Not satisfied with this, she went organic... There was mango shake that Girish's mom served which was thrown all over us... Thandai served met the same fate.... Tired of Sheetal Didi's wild wild behaviour we decided to give her a taste of her own medicine... Me and Shivangi dragged her (later Girish carried her) to a place full of muck and she with her branded capris (which she kept cribbing abt later) were completely immersed... No wonder they say revenge is sweet :)))) A quickie to Gaurang's place where finally mud was removed and we looked more civilised than nomads :))))
After this the only this that came to my mind - Can married women have wilder fun only in absence of their counterparts? The sheer difference in the way Tejal deeeds and Sheetal deeeds played Holi made this so apparent.. Would I too do the same? Is it society that expects you to do it or is it the fact that u conciously remind urself that u r mature and responsible? Well men still seem to have wild fun after marriage too...
The school group dispersed and I went to a rain dance party with my junior college group... Music (loud and fast - my kind), water flowing and I suddenly felt light, relieved... Felt that the weight of the world does not reside on my shoulders... Dunno if it was the people or the place... went to priya's place later to wish her mom n sister (a ritual I do every year).... Finally when i came home it was arnd 3 pm and food was waiting for me... I was so famishd that i had lunch without cleaning off the colors, mango shake, thandai, muck (remains only) from myself (Yuck!! is the only response I got from anyone who knew this) Thus, effectively HOLI which reluctantly started at 10:00 am, finished only at 5:00 pm (after a bath which took one hour)... So, much for not wanting to play holi :)))))))
What actually made the difference? Was it meeting so many people (going thru the same trials and tribulations), just talking to them? Holi colors? Music which always acts as a healer? Or was it just a break from the monotony that my life has been sujected to? Was it that for once I was carefree, forgot all that could go wrong and just had wild fun, plain no strings attached fun???
Evening too we had some games in the building where I made aunties run (some game we kids and all moms played) and we played antakshari between the 2 generations (which was not concluded... they had a huge repository of old songs and we had old (thanks to remixes) and new ones) I realised towards the fag end of the day, I was more responsive, more responsible and started a fresh evening with an even more fresh outlook... tried to sort out my issues, treated myself to good music and sitcoms and helped my sister with her studies... Its been 4 days and the effect still hasnt worn off.... Somewhere the pessimist in me has gone under the layers... Will it surface again? I know that it will... Will I tackle it again - I know I will - but may be it wont be holi this time....
Bottomline - Changes are necessary... Either in form of doing something different or interacting with someone different... Just the thought that others go through the shit that you are going through makes you face ur fears and inhibitions boldly... On the other hand being in a monotonous life just brings negative energies on the table - whoever u interact with and whenever u do it....
Thursday, March 01, 2007
'To Be' or 'Not To Be' Yourself
Every relationship has 2 kinds of people in it. The first kind is the people who pamper…. The other is the ones who get pampered…..
The interesting traits to be noticed in these two types are:
Pampers [referred to as PS hereon] –
Listens to everything the other person has to say
Is more expressive, more romantic, more vocal
Is more understanding and more receptive
Calls very often
Always wants to be a part of the other person’s life – through all the trials and tribulations
On a materialistic front – buys gifts, takes out for dates etc…
Pampered [referred to as PD hereon] –
Throws tantrums all the time
Can get away with hanging up as per mood swings
Low on expression, less vocal
More aggressive, more demanding, more dominating, more space giving
On a materialistic front – Same as pampers (may be at a lesser frequency)
Therefore, as you can see PS essentially acts like the glue keeping the relationship together. They kinda make up for the affections of both the people in the relationship. This is the very core on which the relationship functions and stays stable. Problems creep in when PS starts expecting the similar things from PD. It’s not that PD don’t want to fulfill these expectations. But by the very definition, they are programmed to not function that way. Quite naturally, expectations don’t get fulfilled. PS feels betrayed and why shouldn't they? They are investing their entire energy in this relationship but the returns are few or none. But do we really blame the PD for this? Now if PD changes to match those expectations then isn’t this a negotiation. Isn’t this changing to something you are not?
I always believed that love is accepting a person as it is. But trust me! It’s nothing remotely similar to what I have said in the previous line. In fact it is a battle. A struggle to make ends meet. Mainly starts after that rosy period; when you are faced with the hard reality of time, changing priorities and distance. And it isn’t always the PD who becomes the reason for the outburst. There could be a case when PD may think that PS is just too emotional, too clingy, too not space giving. Just not his/her kinda person. What do you do in this case? Yet another negotiation??????? Or just part ways??????
What makes it even weird and a puzzling mystery is that the same person, who is a PS in some relationships, is the PD in others. Yet after seeing both the sides of the coins, people still have these differences. They have squabbles from minor points to major issues. How do you then still keep the relationship blooming then? How do you know the traits and yet be unreasonable? It’s not that you do not trust, yet you do not understand.
How do you tackle this issue? Where do you find answers for them? Why do movies do not show all these real life love stories? Why do they propagate the myth of girl meets guy, guy fights junta to get the girl and they live happily ever after…In reality.....
The interesting traits to be noticed in these two types are:
Pampers [referred to as PS hereon] –
Listens to everything the other person has to say
Is more expressive, more romantic, more vocal
Is more understanding and more receptive
Calls very often
Always wants to be a part of the other person’s life – through all the trials and tribulations
On a materialistic front – buys gifts, takes out for dates etc…
Pampered [referred to as PD hereon] –
Throws tantrums all the time
Can get away with hanging up as per mood swings
Low on expression, less vocal
More aggressive, more demanding, more dominating, more space giving
On a materialistic front – Same as pampers (may be at a lesser frequency)
Therefore, as you can see PS essentially acts like the glue keeping the relationship together. They kinda make up for the affections of both the people in the relationship. This is the very core on which the relationship functions and stays stable. Problems creep in when PS starts expecting the similar things from PD. It’s not that PD don’t want to fulfill these expectations. But by the very definition, they are programmed to not function that way. Quite naturally, expectations don’t get fulfilled. PS feels betrayed and why shouldn't they? They are investing their entire energy in this relationship but the returns are few or none. But do we really blame the PD for this? Now if PD changes to match those expectations then isn’t this a negotiation. Isn’t this changing to something you are not?
I always believed that love is accepting a person as it is. But trust me! It’s nothing remotely similar to what I have said in the previous line. In fact it is a battle. A struggle to make ends meet. Mainly starts after that rosy period; when you are faced with the hard reality of time, changing priorities and distance. And it isn’t always the PD who becomes the reason for the outburst. There could be a case when PD may think that PS is just too emotional, too clingy, too not space giving. Just not his/her kinda person. What do you do in this case? Yet another negotiation??????? Or just part ways??????
What makes it even weird and a puzzling mystery is that the same person, who is a PS in some relationships, is the PD in others. Yet after seeing both the sides of the coins, people still have these differences. They have squabbles from minor points to major issues. How do you then still keep the relationship blooming then? How do you know the traits and yet be unreasonable? It’s not that you do not trust, yet you do not understand.
How do you tackle this issue? Where do you find answers for them? Why do movies do not show all these real life love stories? Why do they propagate the myth of girl meets guy, guy fights junta to get the girl and they live happily ever after…In reality.....
Loving is easy, fighting for love and winning it is easier but living with the person you love and still have the same amount of love for that person is what wears you out!!!!!
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Inspired by 'Music and Lyrics'
I've been lucky to find my man
Very lucky to get full support, yes! he can
Life is better this way
Smiles around and fears driven away
I wanna be with you forever
I dont wanna leave you, never never....
There is love now in my life
Its smooth sailing, there aint no strife
There is someone walking with me always
There is no parting of our ways
I wanna be with you forever
I dont wanna leave you, never never....
I dont wanna leave you, never never....
Life never stops, it moves on
We may fight as we move along
But there is one thing I clearly see
You are the best thing that happened to me
I wanna be with you forever
I dont wanna leave you, never never....
I dont wanna leave you, never never....
There are times when life would be full of confusion
Faced with problems with no solution
But you would always be my strength
To make this work, we would go to any length
I wanna be with you forever
I dont wanna leave you, never never....
Faced with problems with no solution
But you would always be my strength
To make this work, we would go to any length
I wanna be with you forever
I dont wanna leave you, never never....
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Dreamz Unlimited!!!
Websters defines Dream as ‘a series of mental images and emotions occurring during sleep’. And psychologists say that ‘Dream is a manifestation of intrinsic desires of the real world in the surreal world one conjures up while sleeping’. 99% of the times I do not remember but the 1% that I do remember, my dreams act as a window to show what can go wrong in an important phase of my life. Being an alarmist (I won’t say a pessimist because I only suffer from a paranoia that things will go wrong), I always paid heed to the signs sent out by my dreams.
For example, I was preparing for this very important exam and just a few days before the exam, I dreamt that the paper is going well and suddenly my watch stopped. Now, if anyone has taken CAT they would know that without a watch this exam is a futile effort. Every section needs to be timed; every question has an allotted amount of time. I woke up startled, sweating and hajar scared. So, scared I was that I actually wore 2 watches when I went for the exam (you should have seen the look on people’s faces when they saw a sensible looking nut with 2 watches). I would also like to mention about the additional care I took to ensure that both watches show exact time; till the last second.
Same thing goes with this other dream where I thought I am going for an important interview and something happens to get a stain on the dress. I got so paranoid that I actually wanted to carry a spare dress. Thanks to the persuasion efforts of my mother who, sensibly enough, allayed my fears and did not let me do something silly :)
Anyway, so as I mentioned before dreams have always warned me; of the likely or the unlikely dangers. But there are some which, due to the lack of a word now, are plain weird. I mean just hear this weirdest dream and tell me what warning should I get from this one?
I am sleeping (in my dream) and my mother wakes me up. She gives me some funda about how some lunar movement has caused the moon to come in some position and has aligned with stars favorably. I have started to wonder (in my dream) why she is delivering this astrological lecture early in the morning when she uttered the following words – “Because of this we have preponed your marriage by 2 weeks. So get up, today is your wedding day”…. She said the above sentence with such poise that I was surprised that why I could never be as self assured as my mother. But giving this situation a moment, I was not supposed to be calm. I mumbled something in protest (which wasn’t effective and hence I do not recollect) but she just asked me to get up and come down where some beauticians are waiting for me. Completely flabbergasted, I came down to call my younger sister who is the person my designer and stylist for some fashion advice :) And lo behold! it seems she is on her honeymoon. I get more confused. How would she be married before me? Even if she is, why is she not there when it is the most important day of my life? Perplexed I look around when I see my other sisters playing hide-n-seek. I am very supportive of kids playing (considering these days all they do is video games, computers and TV) but was that the time and place? I still try to compose myself and I call my close friends. All of them get very irritated that I informed them so late about the wedding. I try to tell them that I myself came to know a few hours ago (as absurd as this sounds) but they don’t listen. They say they won’t come. So, here I was having a wedding with my sisters not around or playing, my mother completely worked up with the arrangements and my friends not present on the occasion. I was sucked into the black hole of confusion. And suddenly comes a thought; like a flash of lightening. Does the groom know that the wedding is 2 weeks earlier? Did he get the ‘Two Weeks Notice’? I was just about to go and ask my mother that question (in my dream) when my mother woke me up (in real life). Am I thankful for that? Was I prepared to hear what happened about the groom? I still do not know.
I told my mother and we had a laugh about it. I told my friends who cancelled on me (in the dream) and they are all amused. But coming to my funda where my dream sends out warnings for me; all I can think of are as follows:
· DON'T PREPONE YOUR MARRIAGE - whatever be the reason
· Make sure your younger sister gets married after you or doesn't go out anywhere within 3 weeks of your marriage date
· Let your sisters play as much as they want so that they don’t end up doing it in your wedding
· Make sure you talk to your boyfriend/to be groom daily when the marriage date gets fixed
· Tell your friends that they are supposed to show up within 2 hours notice :)
· Most importantly, DON’T LET YOUR PARENTS GO THROUGH LUNAR MOVEMENTS AND STAR ALIGNMENT :)
For example, I was preparing for this very important exam and just a few days before the exam, I dreamt that the paper is going well and suddenly my watch stopped. Now, if anyone has taken CAT they would know that without a watch this exam is a futile effort. Every section needs to be timed; every question has an allotted amount of time. I woke up startled, sweating and hajar scared. So, scared I was that I actually wore 2 watches when I went for the exam (you should have seen the look on people’s faces when they saw a sensible looking nut with 2 watches). I would also like to mention about the additional care I took to ensure that both watches show exact time; till the last second.
Same thing goes with this other dream where I thought I am going for an important interview and something happens to get a stain on the dress. I got so paranoid that I actually wanted to carry a spare dress. Thanks to the persuasion efforts of my mother who, sensibly enough, allayed my fears and did not let me do something silly :)
Anyway, so as I mentioned before dreams have always warned me; of the likely or the unlikely dangers. But there are some which, due to the lack of a word now, are plain weird. I mean just hear this weirdest dream and tell me what warning should I get from this one?
I am sleeping (in my dream) and my mother wakes me up. She gives me some funda about how some lunar movement has caused the moon to come in some position and has aligned with stars favorably. I have started to wonder (in my dream) why she is delivering this astrological lecture early in the morning when she uttered the following words – “Because of this we have preponed your marriage by 2 weeks. So get up, today is your wedding day”…. She said the above sentence with such poise that I was surprised that why I could never be as self assured as my mother. But giving this situation a moment, I was not supposed to be calm. I mumbled something in protest (which wasn’t effective and hence I do not recollect) but she just asked me to get up and come down where some beauticians are waiting for me. Completely flabbergasted, I came down to call my younger sister who is the person my designer and stylist for some fashion advice :) And lo behold! it seems she is on her honeymoon. I get more confused. How would she be married before me? Even if she is, why is she not there when it is the most important day of my life? Perplexed I look around when I see my other sisters playing hide-n-seek. I am very supportive of kids playing (considering these days all they do is video games, computers and TV) but was that the time and place? I still try to compose myself and I call my close friends. All of them get very irritated that I informed them so late about the wedding. I try to tell them that I myself came to know a few hours ago (as absurd as this sounds) but they don’t listen. They say they won’t come. So, here I was having a wedding with my sisters not around or playing, my mother completely worked up with the arrangements and my friends not present on the occasion. I was sucked into the black hole of confusion. And suddenly comes a thought; like a flash of lightening. Does the groom know that the wedding is 2 weeks earlier? Did he get the ‘Two Weeks Notice’? I was just about to go and ask my mother that question (in my dream) when my mother woke me up (in real life). Am I thankful for that? Was I prepared to hear what happened about the groom? I still do not know.
I told my mother and we had a laugh about it. I told my friends who cancelled on me (in the dream) and they are all amused. But coming to my funda where my dream sends out warnings for me; all I can think of are as follows:
· DON'T PREPONE YOUR MARRIAGE - whatever be the reason
· Make sure your younger sister gets married after you or doesn't go out anywhere within 3 weeks of your marriage date
· Let your sisters play as much as they want so that they don’t end up doing it in your wedding
· Make sure you talk to your boyfriend/to be groom daily when the marriage date gets fixed
· Tell your friends that they are supposed to show up within 2 hours notice :)
· Most importantly, DON’T LET YOUR PARENTS GO THROUGH LUNAR MOVEMENTS AND STAR ALIGNMENT :)
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Visa Power - Go Get IT!!!! Part 2
I come home... Tired... not due to work but due to the extreme thinking involved to remove mehndi in one day.... So, I sat with Surf Excel, Rin, Cinthol, Dettol Liquid Soap, Dove and a bucket of water... I have never in my life scrubbed my hands so much... I mean it was like washing my hands for the centuries to come.... I kept checking to see if it was light but time and scrubbing made no difference to the color... So, i decided that if I do not look for 15 min may be a miracle wud happen and mehndi wud go off... But after 35 - 45 min of scrubbing, nothing had happened.... I decided to ditch the effort and went off to the party... tho everytime my hands came in front of my face (which I now realise happens a lot... I mean its just impossible to ignore your hands :$..) I thot abt my mehndi, my interview, my life........
12th Dec - 09:30 hrs - Mehndi still no signs of being lighter.... Tho the scrubbing had made the fingers other than the index finger lighter :(.... I come to office and I am talking to my OSC... I inform him about my absence tomorrow due to the visa interview in Mumbai... So, he is like " arre wah!! ur visa interview... cool hai.." So, without even taking a second breath he shoots questions at me...
"What wud be ur salary while in US?"
"Who is your employer in US"
"what will you do if your client fires u"
"who will you report to?"
"how many ppl will work under you?"
"what are your responsibilities while u r here?"
"What is the name of I797?" etc etc etc... I am speechless... I dunno what to say... I ask him, "Y are no questions about ab initio?" He is like " you dont know about these... you havent read the FAQ document.. You havent seen the papers... you dont know about ur client..." I am shit scared now.... I take some pointers from him too (I dunno how many ppl I had asked questions) and then get on with my work... CAlled Ashok... Again no answer... Undeterred I went to the Visa dept... I asked them about the mehndi... they said no issue.. Strike 1... I asked about the session.. they said after 2:30.. Strike 2... I asked to check my papers... they put them in order... Strike 3... Finally they tell me to just make sure the checklist they have provided is taken care of...
18:00 hrs - My session was cancelled... Ashok was never available... I checked for the checklist... I fired printouts... Printer wasnt working... went to the next bldg... got the prinouts.... So, finally I left work with docs (which I believed were complete) and with many people wishing me luck....
23:00 hrs - I am at my house and I realise that I do not have the interview letter mentioned in one checklist after the checklist I referred... Oh Sh$%!@... Called one person who guided me and thus got the soft copy of the letter... But no printout... Called 5 frends who had printers but all of them had to malfunction at the same time... Y god Y??? I tried not to panic but it refused to leave me... Finally I decided to burn a CD with that doc and take a print tomorrow morning.. C'mon!!! its Mumbai... Cybers open by 9:30... So no big deal... So after settling that, checking 4 times if any other checklist is present, I moved to the final step... Go through the hajar docs... Then get some information about the client, company etc... See all the forms, their names and their purposes... See information like pay, reporting authority etc... Thanks to my OSC, I was a student again ratoing revenues, roles, caps, functions, names etc.... Slept at 02:00 hrs...
13th Dec 2006 - 09:20 hrs - Left home... Going to Bombay Central takes 45 min... so even if I had to reach by 11, I left early (people knowing me would find this to be a surprise....) News!!! Cybers close to my area, on the way to station from my house, all closed.... Sh@%$!! One big detour by my dad (thanks to him who seems to know every nukkad and the shop on it like the back of his hand) he took me to one which was open... I was happy but it was short lived... The cyber had Adobe 3 and my doc was of Adobe 7.. It cudnt open.. Sh@!#!! Went to another... he had Adobe 6... What has happened to Adobe 7... Why dont people keep upgrading their systems... The doc opened with errors but a printable one.. So, took the print out and finally reached station to get 9:57 semi fast and got a fourth seat 2 :)
11:00 hrs - went to the VFS bldg, checked in my bag and awaited my turn.... Finally entered the consulate bldg and went for a security check... Met a gal called Sheetal on my way and we got quite friendly... Man there are a lot of people who want a US Visa everyday (and I do not mean just IT Industry) :) There was this aunty (abt 60 yrs) in front of me for the check.. When the metal detector went over her parts of body the kept beeing.. She had something or the other always beeping... It was hilarious... Wud ve lafed hard otherwise but was still tensed abt my finger prints... So, finally when I got to the finger print counter, i apprehensively placed my finger on the scanner... Breathed a sigh of relief when my finger print got accepted... :)))))) My number came just before the lunch hour set in and I was asked 4 very simple questions - Do u work for infosys? Is this your first job? What tool you wud be working on? Explain that tool function to me... Thus, I entered the consulate at 12:05 and left at 12:17....
So, all this jhanjat for 12 min.... :O I wondered if all the panic, anxiety and stress was needed? But lessons learnt in this process:
1. 35 - 45 minutes of washing hands with the complex mixture mentioned above doesnt harm your hands.
2. Adobe is not backward compatible
3. you can reach Bombay central in less than 45 min, haji ali juice centre is very close from station and US Consulate is very famous since my taxi driver got it easily
4. DO NOT LISTEN to everything ur OSC says and last but not the least
5. Getting a US Visa aint that difficult.... :))))))))
12th Dec - 09:30 hrs - Mehndi still no signs of being lighter.... Tho the scrubbing had made the fingers other than the index finger lighter :(.... I come to office and I am talking to my OSC... I inform him about my absence tomorrow due to the visa interview in Mumbai... So, he is like " arre wah!! ur visa interview... cool hai.." So, without even taking a second breath he shoots questions at me...
"What wud be ur salary while in US?"
"Who is your employer in US"
"what will you do if your client fires u"
"who will you report to?"
"how many ppl will work under you?"
"what are your responsibilities while u r here?"
"What is the name of I797?" etc etc etc... I am speechless... I dunno what to say... I ask him, "Y are no questions about ab initio?" He is like " you dont know about these... you havent read the FAQ document.. You havent seen the papers... you dont know about ur client..." I am shit scared now.... I take some pointers from him too (I dunno how many ppl I had asked questions) and then get on with my work... CAlled Ashok... Again no answer... Undeterred I went to the Visa dept... I asked them about the mehndi... they said no issue.. Strike 1... I asked about the session.. they said after 2:30.. Strike 2... I asked to check my papers... they put them in order... Strike 3... Finally they tell me to just make sure the checklist they have provided is taken care of...
18:00 hrs - My session was cancelled... Ashok was never available... I checked for the checklist... I fired printouts... Printer wasnt working... went to the next bldg... got the prinouts.... So, finally I left work with docs (which I believed were complete) and with many people wishing me luck....
23:00 hrs - I am at my house and I realise that I do not have the interview letter mentioned in one checklist after the checklist I referred... Oh Sh$%!@... Called one person who guided me and thus got the soft copy of the letter... But no printout... Called 5 frends who had printers but all of them had to malfunction at the same time... Y god Y??? I tried not to panic but it refused to leave me... Finally I decided to burn a CD with that doc and take a print tomorrow morning.. C'mon!!! its Mumbai... Cybers open by 9:30... So no big deal... So after settling that, checking 4 times if any other checklist is present, I moved to the final step... Go through the hajar docs... Then get some information about the client, company etc... See all the forms, their names and their purposes... See information like pay, reporting authority etc... Thanks to my OSC, I was a student again ratoing revenues, roles, caps, functions, names etc.... Slept at 02:00 hrs...
13th Dec 2006 - 09:20 hrs - Left home... Going to Bombay Central takes 45 min... so even if I had to reach by 11, I left early (people knowing me would find this to be a surprise....) News!!! Cybers close to my area, on the way to station from my house, all closed.... Sh@%$!! One big detour by my dad (thanks to him who seems to know every nukkad and the shop on it like the back of his hand) he took me to one which was open... I was happy but it was short lived... The cyber had Adobe 3 and my doc was of Adobe 7.. It cudnt open.. Sh@!#!! Went to another... he had Adobe 6... What has happened to Adobe 7... Why dont people keep upgrading their systems... The doc opened with errors but a printable one.. So, took the print out and finally reached station to get 9:57 semi fast and got a fourth seat 2 :)
11:00 hrs - went to the VFS bldg, checked in my bag and awaited my turn.... Finally entered the consulate bldg and went for a security check... Met a gal called Sheetal on my way and we got quite friendly... Man there are a lot of people who want a US Visa everyday (and I do not mean just IT Industry) :) There was this aunty (abt 60 yrs) in front of me for the check.. When the metal detector went over her parts of body the kept beeing.. She had something or the other always beeping... It was hilarious... Wud ve lafed hard otherwise but was still tensed abt my finger prints... So, finally when I got to the finger print counter, i apprehensively placed my finger on the scanner... Breathed a sigh of relief when my finger print got accepted... :)))))) My number came just before the lunch hour set in and I was asked 4 very simple questions - Do u work for infosys? Is this your first job? What tool you wud be working on? Explain that tool function to me... Thus, I entered the consulate at 12:05 and left at 12:17....
So, all this jhanjat for 12 min.... :O I wondered if all the panic, anxiety and stress was needed? But lessons learnt in this process:
1. 35 - 45 minutes of washing hands with the complex mixture mentioned above doesnt harm your hands.
2. Adobe is not backward compatible
3. you can reach Bombay central in less than 45 min, haji ali juice centre is very close from station and US Consulate is very famous since my taxi driver got it easily
4. DO NOT LISTEN to everything ur OSC says and last but not the least
5. Getting a US Visa aint that difficult.... :))))))))
Friday, December 15, 2006
Visa Power - Go Get IT!!!! Part 1
For all the ignorant and hapless souls who are not in IT industry let me make one thing clear. In Indian industry, which works on the 'Global delivery model', getting a Visa is not a big deal and it does not necessitate an applause or a congratulatory note. But, looking at how harried I was, I very well deserve this note.... To know more, read on -
Every confirmed employee applies for a Visa and so when I applied for it, I was not too kicked about it... I mean why should I be. Its not distinctive but another trait of the herd that I am in. So, with zero enthusiasm I filed in my papers - for the forms sake. But little did I know, that this would be a rough ride :)
So, the process is I submit my docs to company, they courier my petition to consulate and then I get a stamping date and eventually a visa (hopefully I am smart enuf to clear the interview). So, this is how my hurdle race began coz hurdles seem coming everywhere possible. A rush for filing petitions started which resulted in premature closing of the cap.... So, the cap closed on 26th May and my papers got filed on 27th May... "Chalo!!! Mera America ka sapna adhoora rahega yeh saal"; I thot but I wasnt particularly dejected or anything (thanks to my extremely low enthu levels)... Forgotten all about my visa, I start my daily work and one fine day I get my work permit number.... If I had an ordinary name, i wud ve to check this twice or thrice to know if its me... But clearly, my unique name made this exercise redundant... So, hajar forms to fill now... DS-156, 157, some silly questionnaire etc... As usual my enthu levels ensured that I just about meet the deadlines for every phase.... Meanwhile, HR department noticed my inactivity and I started to get mails to move my a*@!&$... Shuchi, one of my colleagues who had her visa stamped by then, had to put through a lot with me buzzing questions in her ear all the time (amidst SEV 1 IMRs and COGNOS Servers going weird)
Finally, I give my papers to the Visa department waiting for them to block me a date... Here's a catch, the date has to be taken within 7 days else the online forms you fill expire.... And guess what... Visa Dept successfully gets my account expired.... :( So, the hajar line form to be filled again :(( Did that and finally got a date 13th Dec 2006 - 11:30 am slot... Phew... One job done...This was done in the second or third week of November so clearly, by the time December came, the low enthu levels plunged lower.... Now, the visa department gives all the documents arranged in the order... U just have to collect those, attend a briefing session given by them and then go to the interview and get visa... Hajar ppl did it before me, so I knew nothing could go wrong with me... But, life has an uncanny knack of teaching me lessons I dont want to learn...
11th Dec - 16:00 hrs - I got a huge set of docs... in the order specified... My briefing session got postponed... Still as cool as a cucumber, I came to my desk, put everything in the drawer and started my daily work and very easily forgot about the Visa thingy (In my defence, that visa dept guy said, "arre dont worry... just check the checklist and get the originals... everything ele is taken care of...") So, I had nothing to worry... also, y get scared about the interview... that firang wont know as much about the work as I know... isnt it?? Then, I was talking to Shuchi on what possible things should be taken care of before the interview and she was giving me the procedure to be carried out there... There was a mention of finger printing analysis and how fussy these Americans are abt it.... And we both looked at my finger stunned... I had mehndi on my hand... and guess what!The color of mehndi was darkest for the index finger which is to be used... A lil panic set in... call Ashok (Visa guy..) she suggested... I cud not get through to him... I called Sangeeta... Another friend who had her visa interview done in the past... She said there should be no marks on the finger... Panic!! Anxiety!! Sweat!!! In the middle of december that too... I sopke to every girl on my floor on possible ways of removing mehndi in one day.... people lafed... gave suggestions... ridiculed... and tried their best to help me... Deepti called her father who assured me nothing would happen... But my silly dimaag kept saying - "of course he never put mehndi na... how would he know??" It was 7 in the evening and the situation was - I had the docs but no session, I had a cab but mehndi on my hand and I was laid back before and now I was laid under lot of stress.....
(CONTD...)
Every confirmed employee applies for a Visa and so when I applied for it, I was not too kicked about it... I mean why should I be. Its not distinctive but another trait of the herd that I am in. So, with zero enthusiasm I filed in my papers - for the forms sake. But little did I know, that this would be a rough ride :)
So, the process is I submit my docs to company, they courier my petition to consulate and then I get a stamping date and eventually a visa (hopefully I am smart enuf to clear the interview). So, this is how my hurdle race began coz hurdles seem coming everywhere possible. A rush for filing petitions started which resulted in premature closing of the cap.... So, the cap closed on 26th May and my papers got filed on 27th May... "Chalo!!! Mera America ka sapna adhoora rahega yeh saal"; I thot but I wasnt particularly dejected or anything (thanks to my extremely low enthu levels)... Forgotten all about my visa, I start my daily work and one fine day I get my work permit number.... If I had an ordinary name, i wud ve to check this twice or thrice to know if its me... But clearly, my unique name made this exercise redundant... So, hajar forms to fill now... DS-156, 157, some silly questionnaire etc... As usual my enthu levels ensured that I just about meet the deadlines for every phase.... Meanwhile, HR department noticed my inactivity and I started to get mails to move my a*@!&$... Shuchi, one of my colleagues who had her visa stamped by then, had to put through a lot with me buzzing questions in her ear all the time (amidst SEV 1 IMRs and COGNOS Servers going weird)
Finally, I give my papers to the Visa department waiting for them to block me a date... Here's a catch, the date has to be taken within 7 days else the online forms you fill expire.... And guess what... Visa Dept successfully gets my account expired.... :( So, the hajar line form to be filled again :(( Did that and finally got a date 13th Dec 2006 - 11:30 am slot... Phew... One job done...This was done in the second or third week of November so clearly, by the time December came, the low enthu levels plunged lower.... Now, the visa department gives all the documents arranged in the order... U just have to collect those, attend a briefing session given by them and then go to the interview and get visa... Hajar ppl did it before me, so I knew nothing could go wrong with me... But, life has an uncanny knack of teaching me lessons I dont want to learn...
11th Dec - 16:00 hrs - I got a huge set of docs... in the order specified... My briefing session got postponed... Still as cool as a cucumber, I came to my desk, put everything in the drawer and started my daily work and very easily forgot about the Visa thingy (In my defence, that visa dept guy said, "arre dont worry... just check the checklist and get the originals... everything ele is taken care of...") So, I had nothing to worry... also, y get scared about the interview... that firang wont know as much about the work as I know... isnt it?? Then, I was talking to Shuchi on what possible things should be taken care of before the interview and she was giving me the procedure to be carried out there... There was a mention of finger printing analysis and how fussy these Americans are abt it.... And we both looked at my finger stunned... I had mehndi on my hand... and guess what!The color of mehndi was darkest for the index finger which is to be used... A lil panic set in... call Ashok (Visa guy..) she suggested... I cud not get through to him... I called Sangeeta... Another friend who had her visa interview done in the past... She said there should be no marks on the finger... Panic!! Anxiety!! Sweat!!! In the middle of december that too... I sopke to every girl on my floor on possible ways of removing mehndi in one day.... people lafed... gave suggestions... ridiculed... and tried their best to help me... Deepti called her father who assured me nothing would happen... But my silly dimaag kept saying - "of course he never put mehndi na... how would he know??" It was 7 in the evening and the situation was - I had the docs but no session, I had a cab but mehndi on my hand and I was laid back before and now I was laid under lot of stress.....
(CONTD...)
Monday, December 11, 2006
A sneak peek in the 21st century
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
Its the century where everyone is in a rat race
A race behind happiness, is the only case
But all you achieve, all you get, you still are dissatisfied
Nothin serves to keep a smile on your face.....
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
It is the time when everyone is very smart
Everyone has knowledge filled in many carts
But when it comes to application in real life.
Most of them end up falling short....
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
It is the time when people have many friends
But the time of loneliness never ends
We have many gadgets to keep in touch
But the wishes to our beloved we rarely send...
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
It is the time when people act very mature
We are able to handle relationships of long distance nature
But the high divorce rate paints a different picture
Like a house of straws, relationships rupture....
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
Its the time when we have world at our finger tips
We get things as soon as the word is out of our lips
But with all this technology,came many scams
One person's scandal acts as the others quips....
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
It is the time when people fall in love easily
The flexibility and liberal attitude is present in every family
But at the same time people have become very individualistic
That the concept of 'joint-family' now seems silly....
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
It is the time when people are taught that they have same status
With same opportunities across all stratus
But yet some people have reservations in place
Denying many their basic rights based on caste, creed and status....
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
I live in this era and this is my fate
I wanna think of positives, in this poem, to state
But I am out of ideas and none have come so far
Can you people help your mate.....
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
Its the century where everyone is in a rat race
A race behind happiness, is the only case
But all you achieve, all you get, you still are dissatisfied
Nothin serves to keep a smile on your face.....
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
It is the time when everyone is very smart
Everyone has knowledge filled in many carts
But when it comes to application in real life.
Most of them end up falling short....
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
It is the time when people have many friends
But the time of loneliness never ends
We have many gadgets to keep in touch
But the wishes to our beloved we rarely send...
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
It is the time when people act very mature
We are able to handle relationships of long distance nature
But the high divorce rate paints a different picture
Like a house of straws, relationships rupture....
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
Its the time when we have world at our finger tips
We get things as soon as the word is out of our lips
But with all this technology,came many scams
One person's scandal acts as the others quips....
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
It is the time when people fall in love easily
The flexibility and liberal attitude is present in every family
But at the same time people have become very individualistic
That the concept of 'joint-family' now seems silly....
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
It is the time when people are taught that they have same status
With same opportunities across all stratus
But yet some people have reservations in place
Denying many their basic rights based on caste, creed and status....
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
I live in this era and this is my fate
I wanna think of positives, in this poem, to state
But I am out of ideas and none have come so far
Can you people help your mate.....
Lo behold people! its the 21st century,
Its the mark of good times and end of misery....
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