A blogger making maximum use of hyperbole and weaving a tapestry from the most common and mundane experiences making them delightful reads....
Monday, April 06, 2009
Days that were - IIMB rocked!!!
Monday, March 30, 2009
With this hope, I live not free!!
Of every effort going in vain
Of taking me to greats heights and under the bottom of rock
Of me being an ass and made a laughing stock...
With this feeling, I live not free
Don't know what else I have to see!!
Days go by and nights come along
Try as I may,they seem too long
Sleep like a baby, a phrase I have heard before
Its been ages since the last dream, a wink or a snore...
With this effort, I live not free
Don't know what else I have to see!!
Each trip down the memory lane
Full of laughter, cheer, angst and pain
Each memory thought of, is like re-living them
Every moment in the present then, is never the same...
With this burden, I live not free
Don't know what else I have to see!!
And then one fine day, you think of times ahead
Of the words not spoken, of the future unsaid
A silent prayer on your lips, saying all will be fine
You think of new places and people, you then don't whine...
With this hope, I live not free
I hope its something I'll be able to see!!!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Compartmentalisation!!!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Sharmili unveiled!!!
Here is what this strength builder assessed me as: (btw, this is primarily done to ensure that when we take up a job as we leave IIMB, we map our strengths to the roles we apply so that we are satisfied in the job)
Includer
“Stretch the circle wider.” This is the philosophy around which you orient your life. You want to include people and make them feel part of the group. In direct contrast to those who are drawn only to exclusive groups, you actively avoid those groups that exclude others. You want to expand the group so that as many people as possible can benefit from its support. You hate the sight of someone on the outside looking in. You want to draw them in so that they can feel the warmth of the group. You are an instinctively accepting person. Regardless of race or sex or nationality or personality or faith, you cast few judgments. Judgments can hurt a person’s feelings. Why do that if you don’t have to? Your accepting nature does not necessarily rest on a belief that each of us is different and that one should respect these differences. Rather, it rests on your conviction that fundamentally we are all the same. We are all equally important. Thus, no one should be ignored. Each of us should be included. It is the least we all deserve.
Empathy
You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person’s perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person’s predicament—this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings—to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.
Competition
Competition is rooted in comparison. When you look at the world, you are instinctively aware of other people’s performance. Their performance is the ultimate yardstick. No matter how hard you tried, no matter how worthy your intentions, if you reached your goal but did not outperform your peers, the achievement feels hollow. Like all competitors, you need other people. You need to compare. If you can compare, you can compete, and if you can compete, you can win. And when you win, there is no feeling quite like it. You like measurement because it facilitates comparisons. You like other competitors because they invigorate you. You like contests because they must produce a winner. You particularly like contests where you know you have the inside track to be the winner. Although you are gracious to your fellow competitors and even stoic in defeat, you don’t compete for the fun of competing. You compete to win. Over time you will come to avoid contests where winning seems unlikely.
Woo
Woo stands for winning others over. You enjoy the challenge of meeting new people and getting them to like you. Strangers are rarely intimidating to you. On the contrary, strangers can be energizing. You are drawn to them. You want to learn their names, ask them questions, and find some area of common interest so that you can strike up a conversation and build rapport. Some people shy away from starting up conversations because they worry about running out of things to say. You don’t. Not only are you rarely at a loss for words; you actually enjoy initiating with strangers because you derive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection. Once that connection is made, you are quite happy to wrap it up and move on. There are new people to meet, new rooms to work, new crowds to mingle in. In your world there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet—lots of them.
Achiever
Your Achiever theme helps explain your drive. Achiever describes a constant need for achievement. You feel as if every day starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself. And by “every day” you mean every single day—workdays, weekends, vacations. No matter how much you may feel you deserve a day of rest, if the day passes without some form of achievement, no matter how small, you will feel dissatisfied. You have an internal fire burning inside you. It pushes you to do more, to achieve more. After each accomplishment is reached, the fire dwindles for a moment, but very soon it rekindles itself, forcing you toward the next accomplishment. Your relentless need for achievement might not be logical. It might not even be focused. But it will always be with you. As an Achiever you must learn to live with this whisper of discontent. It does have its benefits. It brings you the energy you need to work long hours without burning out. It is the jolt you can always count on to get you started on new tasks, new challenges. It is the power supply that causes you to set the pace and define the levels of productivity for your work group. It is the theme that keeps you moving.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Life goes on!!!
As you must have guessed, I have not figured out what life is all about... I always grew up in a competitive context so, Life to me means feeling that I am not a failure and thats all... No! - it moves on, no! - there is light beyond the tunnel etc. theories. And herein lies the core issue. Success for me is relative.... It does not matter what I achieve unless in a context I am better than most. Thus, what life means to me ironically, is determined by others. Strange isn't it!!! Therefore, while I have been an athlete, a dancer or a club president, it does not matter if I have not handled one aspect of my life well.... 'Coz when I pit against my peers at IIMB, my peers from VJTI who are in completely different setup (its like comparing apples and oranges) or anyone who can be remotely connected to me, I always tend to find people many times better than me.... Thus making me feel "Life Sucks!!!"
And once I get this into my head, no other rational thought has any space to make its presence felt... Then comes a teeny voice in my head (after days of incarceration) saying C'mon Sharmili, Move on Woman!!! And just like that, I am back to being my bouncy self.... Emphemeral as it is, this stage lasts for sometime till one more comparison - and I am back to the "Life Sucks!!!" mode. Point of this post, there are many things in my life to make me feel happy, lucky and on the top of the world.... There are many times the rational thoughts mentioned above enter my head.... Yet, I find myself in bouts of low confidence, self doubt, lack of faith etc. I am waiting for a moment when I actually practice what I preached here (in the first paragraph)... Not for the sake of being proper but 'coz, that I believe would be when I actually graduate to the next level of maturity!!!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Chilly in Chicago!!!
I went to kiddo's apartment and the first thing I did - turn on heat to level 5... This dude was like Sharmili, in my stay here for
Next day I got up at 12:30 - wooooow!! what a feeling - I had almost forgotte
Next we went to Millenium park... Well snowing had dampened the main attraction there, Cloud Gate - which reflects the entire skyline of Chicago... We still took pics coz the structure was magnificient in itself... Btw, the bags you see in our hands here, are the awesome deals we got on Disney soft toys (the big red bag), Guess watches (cant be seen) and Disney doll stuff (Pink bag - which kiddo bought NOT ME)
Then was the MOST exciting part of the trip... So, people who know me
Then ca
Next day started with seeing GSB Chicago (now renamed as Booth school of business) , eating the famous deep crust pizza (which we could not finish - the smallest size) and running to get a shuttle to the airport.. Oh btw, it was interesting that I spoke to Gau that day, spoke to Rekha after hajar years (I am still surprised she remembered me) and guess what, my trip back to San Francisco was going to be meeting her.... I was so glad that whole thing worked out...
I took flight out of Chicago (Goodbyes are sad - even if you know you are going to meet the person in the next 2 days) and landed in San Fran where I met Rekha and Guru (her husband)... Man!! It was so awesome... I dint have any camera to take a pic with them (sadly so) but it was good fun... Rekha made Pav Bhaji (so Indian food on 2 days... Yeee!), we spoke through the night... Their house is just awesome (they bought a new one) and immediately I told Guru that he should talk to my sister who can help him decorate it... Anyway, after lot of talk (some of it involved around how I just assume things will fall in place when I am travelling and how I havent really planned a lot) we went off to sleep... The next morning I took MRT (Mass Rapid Transit - a sort of metro) from a place close to their place (Fremont) to airport.... Flight was on time, I checked in to get down at Singapore - the last place I was visiting in the trip.. Oh, in order to avoid jet lag issues, I saw 8 movies in a row on the flight and yet, I was not sleepy when I landed... Like Sudha said - it beat the purpose of not being jet lagged :)))
I met Sudha at the airport and went to her new apt.... Next day - went to Mustafa's (the only place I had not visited in SGP), set up her room, met Vikrant and Ashwath (after a long time) and boarded the flight to India....
Back at home... Phew!!! Queues, Indian faces and delays... I was at home... In those 2 weeks,
1. I saw 6 cities,
2. Visited 12 airports,
3. Saw the best sides of people who I met after a long time,
4. Actually bonded with the Stanford students which is THE POINT of the exchange program (My status message for a couple of days was I dont want to leave Stanford people)
5. Did sight seeing, went on rides and walks and
6. Had tons of memorable experiences which are not restricted only to this blog but there for life....
Easily one of the best things that I did while at IIM Bangalore - Enroll for the Stanford Exchange Program...
Sleepless in Seattle
Seattle:
I reach Seattle airport and I am constantly in touch with Gautam who was supposed to pick me up from the airport.... Now, this had to work real time as he dint want to park his vehicle and therefore, could not wait before time... So, finally he says he is close but doesn't know where I am standing... I tell him what I am wearing (I was actually very visible with the only one i
Next day - Sunday - We went to this breakfast place Gautam suggested - after ge
Day two in Seattle was a day when I went camping by MYSELF - Sharmili's Day Out!!!
1. Sireesha kept calling EVERYTIME while I was there... Dont know if it was a kind of check mechanism madam had put in place ;)
2. Kiddo was so worried now as to how to better the time at Chicago :)))
3. Spoke to people back at home and missed them...
The next morn I left for Chicago... And bid my farewell to Megha at the airport where she dropped me... A 4 day trip with this girl and thats all it took for me to miss her so badly when I came back home :))
"Official Reason to go to USA" - Stanford Trip
Day 1:
So, I reached after breakfast and immediately left for the Oakland Raiders game... 2
1. Sid finally got to meet Kate and appreciate what I had mentioned about her
2. These guys saw my room and it was so mind-blowingly awesome that they were jealous (I got happy - ha ha ha)
"American Foot
In the evening, our hospitable guests divided us in groups based on the cuisines we wanted to eat. J'ai mange italien :))) (I speak French and not italian :)...)
Day 2:
3 lectures, 2 company visits and 1 game and dinner was the plan for the day.... Dean of Stanford - David Kreps came to give us a lecture on Stanford and its history.... During the lecture, it became clearer that IIMB is like Stanford and IIMA like Harvard... Culture, teaching methodology etc... Which is why I think, there is a Stanford-IIMB program and not a Stanford-IIMA program...
After this was a lecture by Mr. Guy Kawasaki - A successful VC and famed author of book including Rich Dad - Poor Dad!! Enlightening lecture and a very interesting person, in his
opinions and his style.... I took a liking to him instantly....
Finally, the academic session ended with Prof. Carole Robin... Importance of feedback was what she covered in the lecture...
Post this we went to "Whole Foods" where I ate Mexican food (henceforth, whenever I mention food - assume its Mexican or Italian) coz vegeterians rarely have too much choice and people like me who hate Mushrooms - even lesser choices :)))) And American portions are HUGE!!! Poor me... I could NEVER finish a single meal coz one small burito was like 2 meals for me :((((
Facebook where we learned about their culture and NUMMI - the Toyota and GM alliance where we actually saw a car being made in 54 seconds thru JIT system... It was fascinating to see the importance Americans give to culture and perfection....
Then was the BEST social activity ever... We went to Dave and Busters - a mall sort of place with games... I won so many games, beat Vickram in car racing and shopped for sweats :))) Good fun...
Fully satisfied I went to my room (aweeeeeesome bed - did I mention) to get myself all buckled up for even more hectic schedule the next day.... Oh, before sleeping I had to read a case for my classes the next day :((( (will anyone say I was on vacation - oh! I wasn't right... oops!..)
Day 3:
CEO of PepsiCo coming and tellin us how Indra Nooyi was a right choice of a leader.... Man!! that was inspiring... A sales class by top sales executives in Bay area telling students how to improve sales effectiveness with live examples and IHI case being discussed by the case writer himself.... The academic sessions were on a swing...
After lunch we went to IDEO - a design consulting firm... I saw the designs and I coiuld not stop thinking of Namu... She would have looooooved to visit that place... I wish she gets recruited there... It was fascinating... I took some pics for her... Hope she likes them....
We had free time then to work on our projects, after which we went for dinner and drinks with Stanford junta...
Day 4:
This was all-in-
Went to Pier 39, boat ride, cable cars, Union Square, Golden Gate bridge etc... Photos and more shopping done and we came back tired to the room... Other guys went out pubbing but I stayed back as I had to prepare a case for the next day - CEO of cisco was coming and I dint want to look stupid...
Day 5:
It was an all-in-all academic day...
After an ok-ok lecture by the head of Dodge & Cox, we had an awesome case discussion by Prof. John Morgridge - ex-CEO of cisco... Mindblowing session... I strongly believe that even if the prof is brilliant, the person coming himself and teaching a case written on the decisions he took, makes a huge difference... completely satisfied, I spoke to him after class and he asked my name... shook hands with me... and patted me on my back for a nice question... Wow!!! it was the highlight of my day...
Then was my career counselling session with Virginia who I had met in India earlier.... This session was mainly a feel-good session for everyone but the pessimist that I am, I felt bad :(((( But thats not important...
Lise Buyer - by far my most favorite lecture - showed us a very unique perspective in life by sharing her learnings from the finance career... Here again, I was putting awesome CP... I just realised... When there are such inspiring people in front of u, you automatically feel like asking them questions...
Chairman of BCG then came and gave us gyaan on how is consulting adapting according to the economic downturn....
Prof. Brady came and spoke about US Elections and how the process is conducted... How is the 2 party system eficient... The discussion concluded on lauding India for having so many diverse parties and still maintaining democracy...
A not so useful international communication session concluded the day after which we left for Leo Joseph's residence - an Indian GSB Alum who hosts SAIL students every year.... Interesting person again!!! He likes an idea, starts a company and then sells it off for a hefty am
Day 6:
Second last day and it was the first time when I got late, missed the gang and had to go on my own to the company we were visiting... Pacific Biosciences, the company was awesome apparently but I dint quite understand anything due to the delay... After this, we went back to campus where we made our presentations... We had a small photosession with the insti photographer, a Career Life Vision lecture by Prof. Andy Chan and attended the L-square equivalent of Stanford - LPF... It was here we met other GSB students and spoke to them in an informal setting...
We went for dinner at a restaurant on campus and generally bonded with the Stanford counterpart by discussin hajar issues...
Day 7:
Last day with them... They had their exams so all of them couldnt join us to the Monterey Aquarium... Good place... I saw a diver feeding the fish LIVE and I myself took behind the scenes tour where I could feed the fish :))) Americans make an experience out of everything... The way they explained everything to everyone, the way they go out of their way to make tourists spend etc. all is very comendable... I keep feeling that people in India should learn this... First we dont have such places, and the little that we have like Essel World - the staff is so curt and not helpful... We have a lot to learn - really...
After this we went Bowling!!! I sucked at it :((( Wonder why??? I did play decently but here I was like awfulllll.... After this I left for Schwab (the place where I stayed) to collect luggage and leave for domestic airport to go to Seattle...
It was a fun week - right mix of acads, corporate and social activities... I think such exchange programs are so much better than those 3 months one... I mean you dont get homesick and you still enjoy... Yes, you have little sleep but I think you can do without it - after all you ARE DOING YOU MBA :))) More about the latter part of the trip follows...
Monday, December 01, 2008
Wild Wild West....
1. I was coooooooooooooold... And therefore, I was troubled...
2. And I troubled kiddo the most who really did not know what more could he do....
Disneyland
As usual, I did something unthinkable :) I arrived from India and left directly for Disneyland :))) No time
Comfy shuttle ride till Disneyland after which I got the first excitement of using credit card Vraj gave me.... Yeah!! it worked :))) Then from the 3 options available, we selected Disneyland coz we wanted something veryyyy authentic Amrikaaa to make the trip memorable (tho as I told kiddo that it was memorable coz I was with him).... Then we saw all the things there.... You know that s the good part about kiddo.... Like me he also has this "paisa vasool" funda.... So, he dint like say chal na - lets not see this.... He was like we are paying so much so we need to see everything :)) and I liked that... So, yes - these 2 crazy people from India saw the whole of Disneyland (we actually marked every place we say on the map they gave us to enure we dint miss anything) and finally, at midnight took a taxi to Hollywood where M was waiting for us.... And ya, we were so fortunate to have a Disney parade and a fireworks + "Fantasia" show being performed that day for the first time.... So, huge majja came when we could actually see all Disney characters (in human form) walk down in front of us telling us their stories :))))
Universal Studios and Santa Monica
Reached Motel 6 at around 1:15 am and were fully exhausted... We hardly spoke in the car and after reaching we dint stop talking :))) (M was meeting kiddo after 2 years) General chit
Las Vegas
First impression - WoooooooW!! All lights of USA are used up in Vegas.... Second impression - it is made by engineers and most probably from IITs - coz everything is a duplicate here... Fake paris, Fake NY, fake Disneyland etc. Then went to our hotel - thanks to M - we were put up in MGM Grand :))) That was awesome too... We booked the room for 2 only and then
Grand Canyo
It was a trip which people like me cannot appreciate it to the fullest... Nature, power of nature, beauty of nature etc. gets lost easily on me... But kiddo did a fair bit of job making me all enthu for the trip... The first place where I was late.... First place where I wore 4 layers of clothing and was still numb... The first place where I slept for hajar hours (Kiddo will say I did that over the entire trip after this :)))...)... It is beautiful no doubts about it... But I wish I could either have the money to do the helicopter ride or the boy fat which allowed me to do river rafting :))))
Drive back to San Francisco
One seasoned driver and 2 novices split this journey which culminated in an AWESOME apt and an AWESOME time listening to buttons, talking to friends on phone and good times concluding with some nice pictures taken....
This was my last day with the 3 fun people I met for these 5 days and who ensured I have loads of fun and loads of warmth (thru their actions and thru the warm clothes they kept givin me ;)...) C drove me down to Stanford where the "official" exchange program awaits me... I had an AWESOME time - with people close to me, with places full of life and finally at a time when I had not too many worries bugging me.... I dint whine at all in the entire trip (cold whining not included) and that speaks a lot about the trip (people who know me - KNOW its a big deal...)
Sharmili chali Amrikaaa!!!
So, after a memorable visa trip (I stayed in a 5 star hotel, had a chauffer driven car at my service and had awesome time
Random things then happened as soon as I started my journey and till the point I reached LA Airport...
1. Cab driver - Random that he was - kept unnecessarily talkin to me... and me more idiotic insisted I sit there on the front seat beside him... (Well, in my defense - I did not know this was goin to happen).... And icing on cake - he was drunk tooo (Now, plz ppl - dont panic on reading this... By drunk I mean social drunk not "I cannot drive well" drunk)
2. Dingy Dhaba - I was hungry, but more than me was Shyam.... Thanks to huge tax and rentals, CCD at airport would be extremely expensive... So, AWESOME me came up with a brilliant idea of eating at CCD before we reach airport.... Net result - Ate in a random, shady looking dhaba.... Good part - AWESOME food at a very reasonable price.... Good part 2 - Driver dint charge waiting time :)
Bad part- shaaaaaaaaaaady place but thank God I was with Vivek and Shyam....
3. Immigration Hassles - Despite having done eveyrthing right, I was asked to wait for 30 min before the immigration counter.... Thanks to the jhols Vivek and Shyam did :)
4. Charger Woes - What was exciting during the wait mentioned above, was me talking
continuously on phone to P and saying things these guys were scandalised to hear :)))... Me dying to find a charger at the airport in the loo which apparently doesnt receive power (2 cleaning ladies told me this after I waited there with the charger plugged in for 5 min), me rushing to get security checked - not because I wanted to be on-time etc. but coz there was a charging station in the waiting lounge.... Me using the one-rupee wala phone after haajr years :)))
5. Time trouble - And where I was short of time till now, in Singapore I had excess time - for 4 hours dint know what to do... Surfed, frehshened up, roamed around, tried to shop, drank coffee, woke up S in middle of night to talk, etc. Time JUST DOESNT GO when you are all alone....
6. Too much food - Singapore airlines believes everyone is from Somalia and they need to be fed... While I was desperately trying to not be jetlagged, one meal after another was shoved into my face by the stewardesses.... Finally, when I just managed to get deep sleep, air hostess wakes me again to get down at Tokyo for a re-entry in same plane again.... I till date have not understood what was the purpose of this....
Finally, it was 10:30 LA time and I was there, with kiddo waiting for me with a sign - "Welcome to America Shamu.... Love Kiddo" and just like that all the random things just culminated into a BIIIIIIIIG SMILE....
More about the trip.... Laterssss....
Friday, November 14, 2008
Beauty and the Beast!!!
So, while I was watching the movie "Beauty and the Beast" it just occurred to me, our life soooo needs to follow this principle in practice... We did learn in school that we shud not judge the book by its cover but we do that inevitably... Now, I am certain EVERYONE knows what this movie is all abt but my parallel is not so much on the same lines... Although the underlying thought is the same.... In this movie, it took display of a selfless, lovable heart of the prince through his actions to make the girl fall in love with him... And these actions were good enough to overlook the hideousness that his appearance was... How many of us do that? And our judgements are not only based on appearance.... Grades, Job, Societal Status, Manner of Speaking, Fluency (accents), Company of people, etc. all are used... How many parameters do we use to evaluate a person??? How many people actually think of actions of the person before writing them off or making them friends???
It doesnt make sense to talk about the world in general, so I will take myself as an example to prove what I am trying to say.... How many people who have met me will think I have a good heart??? That I am a good person??? I know of instances when people have adored me for something... But at the same time, I know of instances when they hated me - to the extent of saying "Sharmili, your friendship is not worth preserving!" What baffles me is that if its the same person and if no "bad deed" is done then why would there be these polarised views???
I have often been accused by my friends that I have this huge,unwanted urge to be liked by everyone.... My reaction to this statement is - why not??? Why cannot I expect this small thing from myself? I mean after all I do not know of any concsious incident of malice and anything happening unconciously should be pardoned in any case.... And if its not a characteristic flaw, then isnt this "hatred" an example of judging a book by its cover? Am I getting judged or disliked coz I am too outspoken? too extroverted? too insignificant? too dumb? too intimidating? And if these are indeed the reasons then what have we learnt from the messages we have been taught since our childhood?
If now as a student, we judge a peer - how are we sure of objectively evaluating a person during our corporate life when the stakes are actually very high? You will learn from experience - people say! But wont it be easy to just not make these hasty judgements now? I know of a person who doesnt really judge anyone - always believes that there is a positive to everyone's thought and action... Who always thinks from the "other person's perspective"... I have myself made fun of this person at times - saying he goes overboard trying to "NICE" to everyone but isnt that something we should do... Not be nice but atleast form judgements only on some substantiation...
Can we really look at the beauty within - beyond the very visible "beastly" traits? Do we give people a second chance?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Its that time of the year again!!!
It is during this time that you see the most beautiful side of people where they would go beyond their means to help you out... On the other side, you see the darkest side of human behaviour where competition is actually interpreted as slicing some person's throat to go ahead....
And why exactly is it so strenuous - its coz everyone @ IIMB is a super-achiever.... Some great at academics - those 9+ pointers from IITs and others at sports, quizzes, dances etc. So, it becomes very difficult to think that you are the so called "an average" or worse still "below average"... From the day you come here, you get slotted.... Into study groups, into case groups, into project groups, etc. And how do you decide this? Of course compatibility is taken into account - but strangely - one of the parameters of compatibility is grades, achievements etc. (basically how stud are you??) Its strange coz in my life I have never seen or fortunately experienced anything like this... But this is digression from my main topic...
So, coming back to summers.... When I think of my summers - these are the things I remember:
1. My awesome seniors standing beside me - during prep staying up with me till 3 am, giving gyaan after reading the spiteful newspaper, before the D-day shopping with me to make me look presentable and during the process - helping me dress up, getting things for me, making me comfortable, making me not lose hope, sitting with me for those long hours of waiting for an interview, helping me avoid breakdown at some points and finally partying with me on L^2 post the process...
2. My batch mates - more importantly this one person - who helped me thru my prep, who held my hand when I was falling into darkness....
3. My confidence levels - which were so volatile that sub-prime affected indices were put to shame.... One case cracked - super confident other screwed - im down in dumps...
4. Those one-liner mails who have made my heart skip a beat... That rush in front of the shortlist board.... That happiness when you see your name... That sadness when you dont... That terrible feeling when you make it and your dear ones dint...
5. Finally, the endless patience my family members, my fiance showed to my tantrums, mood swings and bouts of irritations...
Finally I got through the process - SOMEHOW!!! And now as I look back 2 terms ago, I think I fall into the category of people adversely affected by summers.... Ghosts of the past at times hound me.... Should I have prepared better? Did I not do market entry cases properly?? Should I have worked more on personals.... Something as silly as - should I have worn a skirt??? I mean I laugh at myself in despair when these things still SOMEHOW become parameters for judging myself.... Why does this performance affects the way I evaluate myself.... How does this one thing just NEGATES everything I did earlier...
But my summers is time past.... I always thought that what I felt was unique and NO ONE goes through that.... I am in second year now and I see 270 juniors going through the same thing I went through now.... What I HOPE and I PRAY is that the way I have interpreted this outcome for myself - NONE of the facchas do...