Tuesday, November 21, 2006

LDRs - A Way of Life!!!

You talk about the 21st century and you think of globalization…. You think about how the world has come closer due to 3 letters www (world wide web)…. How people in another continent are just a phone call/email away…. How shopping, dating everything is a click away…. No, no!! I am not here to rant about the advantages of internet or the globalization era that we are in…. I am here to talk about a very different aspect of globalization… the way it has influenced lives…. The way it has made people drift apart…. And I am not talking about how people have become machine oriented and lost out on human interaction in their lives…. I am talking about the excessive dynamism that has become a part and parcel of this globalized world…. Confused eh??? Well, what I am talking about is in terms of relationships…. Today around 90% of the relationships are LDRs – Long Distance Relationships! Your boyfriend is in US studying and you are here, your fiancée is working in UK with you being in India with his parents or your husband is on an assignment in Japan and you are in Singapore for a marketing job? How many such incidences do you know? How many such people have you met in your life? I doubt if my parents have come across the same number of people as I have in my short life of 24 years.

I don’t know what I should attribute this to? Should I say it’s because women are being more career oriented? Or is it because of the open mindedness of men to accept women working; not only working but also go places when the job demands? Should I say that people in relationships have become more mature and more accepting now? Or should I say that they have adapted themselves in this race for the survival of the fittest? Or is it not one cause but a mixture of all these? Whatever is the case, LDR has become a way of life and people have accepted it. I may or may not get my prince charming but I know for a fact that I will get married and I know it with even more certainty that there will be a time in my life when I will be staying away from my love/husband/fiancée… That’s the current situation…. But I have also noticed that in spite of this resigned/fatalistic/necessary acceptance, marriages are made with the same old rules…. The parameters are the same. “Ladka shehar mein rehata hai! Ghar hai! Accha kamata hai Etc” But are these sufficient? Shouldn't these be revamped to match with the current trends? What is pertinent now is to know how long will he stay there? If he plans to move, what happens to his better half? When in future kids would be involved, how would he plan about their future, career? What happens about the old parents who would need someone to look after them in old age? I don’t see these parameters being considered a lot these days or am I just turning a blind eye and being my ignorant self?

Let say, finally you get a suitable consort (whatever parameters you chose is completely your prerogative isn’t it) and then you are married or atleast committed. And then comes the fatal blow! You have to go somewhere; she has to go somewhere etc. Now what keeps your relationship ticking? Skype, calling cards, everything under the sun is used to keep in touch but can this replace the human touch that you have now gotten used to? But still I see people going strong. I know of my friends who are still going strong for about 6 years now, after committing to each other and since then living apart…. It must be taking strong will power and all the determination in the world to keep going isn’t it? And after this hiatus when you meet the joy knows no bounds…. And its happiness everywhere…. It’s like a perfect ending to the trial and tribulations that you were exposed to…. In fact now when I ponder it’s probably this happy thought gets people through….

When I hear this, I wonder how would have our parents generation reacted to this kind of situation? They strongly believe in spending time together…. In being with each other…. My mother has been with my dad wherever he was transferred… she agreed to stay back for our studies, apart from dad, when our studies were important…. Will we do this? And those were the days when this dynamism was much less? Can we cope up with the pressures and still do justice to our relationship?

It’s a scary thought but I am sure that life would find means of progressing…. Or rather the optimist in me is forcing me to believe that we will stick with our counterparts through thick and thin despite the impediments that come our way….


Viraj said...

Heyy.. this was a very thought-provoking one! yeah, LDRs is not much fun is it? That's the price we must pay for a career these days, but having said that, we all must decide how much price we are ready to pay for that....

Keep this blog, its a rather hatke one!

Amit said...

Faith and belief is what keeps the relationship intact. The day these two crumble ... game over.

Anonymous said...

Its all about maturity and trust in ur relationship..distance should not be an issue then..
Also as our parents have made sure that we are up one level in lifestyle..we have new set of problems..new rules and ofcourse new solutions..I guess LDR is one of these new solutions..
Good thought nicely articulated..!!

Aniket said...

Hmm...some interesting thoughts out here ma'm !!!

Well, i guess that u lose out on a few small things to complete the bigger picture ... distances infact strengthen the bonds of hearts --- so I believe (not by experience !!) that LDR can act as a catlyst for an LLR (Long Lasting Relationships!) :-):-)

harish said...

You seem to have "thought" a lot about LDRs...good....and "the optimist in you" took me completely by surprise...unfortunately or fortunately i havent had any experience with Rs much less LDRs so all i can say that watever it takes to sustain an LDR may god bless all such couples with all those requisites...keep writing