Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Mothers - You can never predict their reactions!!!

No!!! this is not a blog on the mahanta of mothers... It is definitely not to impress the importance of mothers in a person's life... Coz, there are no words that can do justice to that... And there is not a single article that can cover all the points of the greatness of the beings called 'mothers'... This blog is about how inspite of living with this person for about 24 years of my life, I have not been able to foresee her reactions!!! This is about how 'Mothers' can surprise you with their actions - right when you feel that you know her and can predict her reactions.... Inspite of having being born from within them, inspite of knowing them all your life, despite confiding in them as a friend, philosopher and guide - they continue to amaze us... I know many mothers in my life (my friends mothers, aunts etc) but mine is the queerest of the lot :))))))) (Well most kids would have the same opinion, I believe)

So, Mrs. Shital Phulgirkar became a mother of this terror called Sharmili when she was just 22 years old... And from that point on, not only has she guided me thru the 24 years of my life but has been my greatest strength and my closest aide... When I was 22 I threw tantrums and was as immature as a school kid - but my mother, at that age, ensured that I was groomed well... She made me learn - taught me - helped me transform into a socially responsible, intelligent individual... During these years, I have also tried to understand her.... I have known her to be a mature, sensitive person who cries when someone dies in a movie.... I know her as a very reasonable person who is extremely adaptable to change... Thus I never had to worry about generation gap when it came to her... I know her as a person who respects the value of education and the value of her values... A person who knows when to give space and knows when it is necessary to encroach on it... And most importantly, one who always kept her family's well being above her.... Thus, knowing these characteristics about her should give me a fair idea of how she would react to a situation right... But sadly, it doesnt!!!Coz, this lady continues to amaze me with her responses...

I was in school and I wanted to join Karate classes... No reason why she shouldn't allow me right!! But she refused - reason - I might get hands on practise of Karate moves on my sisters... A valid concern - yes - but would I really do it? And even if I did (kids at that age are dumb) wont she successfully stop me??? But "NO" was all I got... During my tenth standard I was supposed to go for a 3 day camp with other girls.. Now, tenth standard is a crucial year so I had expected her to refuse directly... She asks me if she sees this as something that can affect my studies... Eager to go to the camp, I assured her that it wont... And she agreed.. Just like that... In college, I wanted to go to a movie with my friends after the exams... Not a big deal I thought - may be she would give me time constraints, type of movie constraints... But she refused... Whatever were her reasons then, but it was a very small thing and she surprised me by refusing... It was a reaction which I hadnt expected... After about 4 years, around the same time, my sister who was in tenth standard (still in school) asked her permission for going to a movie with friends and she agreed... I guess on some level she opened up to this concept - realised that she was being unreasonable or a tad bit overprotective (and thank God for that)... A trip to Goa was planned... 5 days!!! 20 people which included only 6 girls... I was sure that my mother, who did not allow me to go to a movie with guys, would never concede to me going to Goa... But guess what, she was one of the first mothers to agree to send me there :))))))

I am now a professional... I am independent and she respects that... But she still is an integral part of my decision making process.... So, I wanted to taste Breezer (translated to Alchohol for her inspite of chintu percentage of alchohol in it) on the eve of International Women's day!!! There was a Pajama Party in my house and I just wanted to be a good hostess by giving my guests company... Of course, before asking her I had told my friends that I would not be drinking (anticipation of her reaction)... You cannot possibly go and ask your mother - "Mom, we have a pajama party and I want to indulge in drunken revelry (which would be her interpretation)..." But I still dared... I mean when you expect a NO already, it becomes easier to handle responses... Atleast I would have been happy about the fact that I tried... So, I dailed the number and asked her - only to be stunned for whole 2 minutes... She agreed... She said, "so long as you know your limits - I do not have any issues..." HOW COOL IS MY MOM :)))))))))) Of course, I did not get drunk that day - just tasted a lil of breezer and then slept off... But the fact that she agreed makes me respect her immensely....

And a final thing that made me write this entire blog... That incident would require some background knowledge... My mom never allows either of her daughters to travel alone.. She gets paranoid... becomes a worry-wart till the person reaches the destination or back home... So, I was 90% sure that she would disagree and reject the proposal of me going to Singapore alone to meet my friend... Undeterred, I did not try a round about approach but a direct question "Should I go?"... And by now you guys must have guessed what she said... She said "Of course, you can... If you think you can handle being in a foreign country and get all the formalities done before the time you can go?" this was like an icing on the cake... A person who dint allow me to go to Shimla alone, allowed me to go to Singapore... Of course the trip is still in the offing but its a great feeling that my mother actually took a decision that agrees with me :)))))))))

So, I present people - my mother... Who sometimes acts as if she is from the 22nd century and is all liberal... And sometimes as if she is from the 14th century and is parochial in everything she does... But, inspite of all this I adore her (everyone adores their mothers)... I love her immensely and I do not see anyone who can meaure up to her persona... If I am even one tenth of what she is; my daughter/son would turn to me as I turn to her and be as proud of me as I am of her...

It takes one mother to know how any other mother would function and decide... As a daughter, I have a tried to understand her and predict her actions... I am not 100% successful but may be someday in future, I would do that successfully (after I become a mother myself)!!!!!!!!!

6 comments:

unpredictable said...

Lovely lovely post!!!! I was abt to write one abt my mom .. after the ways in which shes startled/ delighted me off late by being super understanding and wonderful!!! :) Moms rock!

Viraj Datar said...

Hey... wonderful blog!! Ma is certainly an amazing person... While reading ur blog, i thought to myself, ma knows u in and out while you (and we all too) keep wondering about her reactions! :) nice one!

n.g. said...

hi, got here accidentally. your mum sounds lovely. youre a lucky one. cheers.

Calvin said...

Nice one..
Ur lines of writing are so dffrnt and coherent every time.I see no sublime thoughts in ur write-ups.
Good post!

Anonymous said...

nice one ...
thumbs up.
you can become a nice writer ..

Anonymous said...

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