Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Connect???

How do we connect to people? Is it a conscious process we use to weed out the undesirable and select the ones we connect with or is it a completely "i think itll work" process? Is it a process where I look for someone who is LIKE me or someone who is completely UNLIKE me coz I need variety in life? Why this random blog and even more random questions is because I have time on my hand and recently dont seem to connect the dots of connect with people....

So, till date my theory was I like people who completely dont like me. There is this need to impress on them that I am quite likeable and haveable as a friend. Yes! call it this stupid need to be accepted or this stupid need to prove others wrong. So, a person P and a person S hated me while in junior college and engineering college and I made sure I am good friends with them. How did I make this happen? Well, when you ARE with the person ALL the time, they rarely dont like you - considering I am not all that obnoxious. I have to also give in to the fact that YES, there were circumstances which made me be with them and hence the "Connect"...

Then as time progressed it was more of a conscious decision... My gang in VJTI though just happened. I try and see what was the common thing that connected us but guess what - there aint anything! We had the most serious of people (A's, Y, N, Vy) and the most chillest of people (B, J, S, A, H)... A who I loved and S who I hated.. we had Ash who would arrange lectures and we had Arch who looked for reasons to bunk :) Beside this, there was a gang of seniors... Nothing common between Sum, Sud, P or others... But consciously was with them... Y? Not a clue! Then there was V with whom I went about a complete circle... From the most conscious decision to be or not to be with him and a completely unconscious one of having him in my life or not... So, except for V, I think we had mostly narrowed down to a conscious process of "connecting" with people... Qualities of people were NOT even considered...

At Infosys, it was pretty much - who I was working with and who was nice enough to talk to me :) But frankly, D, K and S that I think are my friends from Infy are completely unlike me and YES, consciously I am friends with them... So, there goes we still maintain the theory from college...

Then came IIMB where this S - from the point I met him there was this huge urge to be friends with him... Y? Well he was EVERYTHING I was not... He was elegant, intelligent and an orator who would floor people by the first word he spoke... Yes! for a social embarrassment like me - this was a BIG thing! We indeed are friends but at this point I dont know if there was this conscious decision or unconscious one. And I dont know if it was the first impression that did the trick or just the kind of person he is? Then there was this gang of seniors I was with and as expected we just happened... Nothing spectacular done on either side to be with each other... Emotional bonding grew by being beside each other during trying times and I believe that was it!

Now, I am a senior at B-school... There is this S I connected with. Now, she is NOT like me. I mope, she laughs.. I hug to show care, she kicks to show affection! Despite this, I always thought I will connect with her but I dunno why we dint become good friends in the first year. "Connect" took 2 drunk girls blabbering to each other :) So, there is this move from conscious decision without person qualities to unconscious decision considering person's qualities to unconscious decision not considering person's qualities... Then there is this N who I am friends with. More so its mollycoddling her, protecting her and just making her feel comfortable.. I dote so much that at times I think I overdo things. I HAVE been warned by people that I do this but I cannot help it. "connect" here was that SHE IS LIKE ME!! I would go to the extent of saying that she is like my Alter-Ego! So, somehow I feel this urge to protect her - like my seniors did to me :) I want her to not make same mistakes I did, like one of my seniors (G) wrote on my wall. So, there we move back again to conscious, considering qualities of the person and wanting it to be similar to mine.

So, I still dont know what makes me like a person but what IS clear is that once they are in my circle, I stand by them with the same ferocity as I would stand by my family :D Should they evaluate being with me? I LEAVE IT TO THEM!!!

6 comments:

amit apte said...

Interesting ...

I think whats going to happen is that people are going to waste their time figuring out what the acronyms are rather than reading the actual content of the blog :)

Harish said...

Nice one...a direct dil se attempt to try and seek out the reason why we keep in touch wid ppl who touch our lives in different ways
wish we could know the answer to this in black and white
but i guess life dwells and thrives in the grey
very good read

Kartik said...

yipeeeeeee...atlast i made it to the sharmili blog :)

but the infy one is not an honest one..there were many other ppl who are missing!!!..i think i shud give them the link to this post ;)

Viraj Datar said...

connections... cross-connections... misconnections.... disconnections.... who knows how and why they happen... but that they do happen... and they shape our paths for us.... nice blog...

avina said...

heyy nice blog..
I am avinash, BTech from
IIT Kanpur, working with Intel
bangalore...

Shruti said...

i want a reblog with more footage to me :D