While it is true that IIMB is by far the best time in our lives, it is also true that few of our worst memories will be associated with the institute.... Summers is one such process.... Summers @ IIMB is by far the most stressful time in the lives of every student here.... It strangely alters your perception about yourself and not always for the worse.... Whats stranger is that everyone KNOWS its a short term process, everyone KNOWS that its not the end of the world and everyone definitely KNOWS that one process cannot undo the things achieved till that point in life... But despite this knowledge, I know of cases when those 5 days really broke a student beyond repair....
It is during this time that you see the most beautiful side of people where they would go beyond their means to help you out... On the other side, you see the darkest side of human behaviour where competition is actually interpreted as slicing some person's throat to go ahead....
And why exactly is it so strenuous - its coz everyone @ IIMB is a super-achiever.... Some great at academics - those 9+ pointers from IITs and others at sports, quizzes, dances etc. So, it becomes very difficult to think that you are the so called "an average" or worse still "below average"... From the day you come here, you get slotted.... Into study groups, into case groups, into project groups, etc. And how do you decide this? Of course compatibility is taken into account - but strangely - one of the parameters of compatibility is grades, achievements etc. (basically how stud are you??) Its strange coz in my life I have never seen or fortunately experienced anything like this... But this is digression from my main topic...
So, coming back to summers.... When I think of my summers - these are the things I remember:
1. My awesome seniors standing beside me - during prep staying up with me till 3 am, giving gyaan after reading the spiteful newspaper, before the D-day shopping with me to make me look presentable and during the process - helping me dress up, getting things for me, making me comfortable, making me not lose hope, sitting with me for those long hours of waiting for an interview, helping me avoid breakdown at some points and finally partying with me on L^2 post the process...
2. My batch mates - more importantly this one person - who helped me thru my prep, who held my hand when I was falling into darkness....
3. My confidence levels - which were so volatile that sub-prime affected indices were put to shame.... One case cracked - super confident other screwed - im down in dumps...
4. Those one-liner mails who have made my heart skip a beat... That rush in front of the shortlist board.... That happiness when you see your name... That sadness when you dont... That terrible feeling when you make it and your dear ones dint...
5. Finally, the endless patience my family members, my fiance showed to my tantrums, mood swings and bouts of irritations...
Finally I got through the process - SOMEHOW!!! And now as I look back 2 terms ago, I think I fall into the category of people adversely affected by summers.... Ghosts of the past at times hound me.... Should I have prepared better? Did I not do market entry cases properly?? Should I have worked more on personals.... Something as silly as - should I have worn a skirt??? I mean I laugh at myself in despair when these things still SOMEHOW become parameters for judging myself.... Why does this performance affects the way I evaluate myself.... How does this one thing just NEGATES everything I did earlier...
But my summers is time past.... I always thought that what I felt was unique and NO ONE goes through that.... I am in second year now and I see 270 juniors going through the same thing I went through now.... What I HOPE and I PRAY is that the way I have interpreted this outcome for myself - NONE of the facchas do...
4 comments:
hey! nice thoughts... there's this oddly satisfying feeling in getting a job/internship offer you know.... something that makes us feel vaildated for all the efforts we've taken during our education... as if te world is acknowledging our worth. I guess that's the reason we tie so many things to getting a job offer.
I just hope all of them get placed properly... wish us all ... all the best! [:)]
Sharmili: "Whoever reads should comment, its like a rule... to prove that you have read"
So it's finally started... and as u said, I could see those judgements happening around myself. Being myself a victim of day-z, I can relate to the introspection part. But frankly, I felt it's a futile exercise. In hindsight, one can find any kind of faults that didn't make it happen (like you thought about skirt, I thought if I should have had desperately asked a ques even when I didn't have one). The harder thing to realize is that everyone is good over here and not everyone's day is the same.
I could pretty much identify with your entire post. Even though I had it really easy for me, as luck may have it, I've been slisha disillusioned over the last few days, just coz I know that a lot of people who were placed much later were wayyyy better than me. This harsh truth is something I'll have to come to terms with eventually. But yes, it is extremely difficult to see the smartest and most confident of the batch break down due to this stupid event which, in my opinion, is not a true test of one's ability. From what the seniors told us, this is an experience we will remember for the rest of our lives, now I know EXACTLY what they were talking about..
I can go on and on.. But I guess my ramblings will be better off on my blog. Love you loads :) .. And just for the record, for the nth time, I owe my summers to you :)
@Viraj - The post is actually to make people realise that they shud not tie so many things to a job.... i can still understand if you attach importance to finals offer but i dont think summers shud be so over-rated...
@Mayank - As i told you over our walk, its not possible that everyone is so confident about themselves to attribute the bad performance to bad day... i for one AM NOT...
@Parul - 3 things:
1. Noone is better than U for me :)
2. I love you tons :)
3. Your summers is purely coz of you... If you rbbr - the night before summers you were mothering me :))) Ha Ha...
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